


The Failsafe Excision

by BlackthornPyre4UrEnemies



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:53:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28012746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackthornPyre4UrEnemies/pseuds/BlackthornPyre4UrEnemies
Summary: It started with a pinch in her chest. Then the pain got worse. Adora knows the failsafe is killing her, but removing it would mean that she might never be able to stop another First One weapon, should there be any left out there on other planets.Catra has had enough of Adora putting the whole universe before herself.A post-season 5, canon-compliant, sick!fic of Catra nursing Adora back to health after her surgery. But first, Catra has to convince Adora to do the self-preserving thing for once in her life, and agree to the failsafe excision in the first place.Written because I am such a sucker for hurt/comfort. And Catra being all soft for Adora, which I will always need in my life. Rated M because I tend to descend into the occasional smut.Prompts welcome.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 160
Kudos: 318





	1. It started with a pinch

**Author's Note:**

> "You're worth more than what you can give to other people. You deserve love, too."
> 
> My absolute favourite line from the show. Thank you, Noelle, so, so much, for everything. You have changed my life.

Catra awoke with a frown, the sun’s rays streaming directly onto her eyes. This rarely happened, even though she would draw open the curtains to their room almost every night so she could slip in and out from their balcony.

Without the horde’s rigid schedule, Catra’s instinct was to be nocturnal. But because Adora was the early bird between them, she would usually shut the drapes around their room the first thing in the morning, so the sunrise would not disturb her love.

Adora must have forgotten this morning. She was that way sometimes, distracted by the million and one things she wanted to do the moment she opened her eyes. Catra grumbled to herself about how she wished Adora would slow down, as she got up to close the drapes.

She paused. There was someone still in bed with her. Her frown deepened.

This wasn’t the first time this week Adora had slept in. It was very unlike her. So out of character that for a brief moment Catra tensed at the idea of something being wrong with Adora, but hurriedly brushed it away. It wasn’t good to catastrophise, Perfuma had said. She was likely just tired. All of them had been working nonstop since defeating Prime three months ago.

The sunlight caught on Adora’s hair, causing the blonde locks to shimmer, almost gold. Her chest rose and fell steadily with her slow breaths, her facial features natural and calm. The failsafe etched into her chest glowed underneath and through the sheets. Catra purred as she laid back down on her pillow, leaning to face Adora. It wasn’t often she could see Adora so at peace. It was all Catra ever wanted for Adora.

She really, really felt Adora should rest, but they had a meeting with the Princess Alliance today and She-Ra was making a rallying speech about the rebuilding efforts. Catra knew if she didn’t wake Adora in time for her to rehearse beforehand Adora would be nervous and bumbling through it later, given that public speaking wasn’t her forte.

Catra smirked. Well. If Adora had to be woken up, Catra might as well make it enjoyable for her. She leaned forwards, placing a light kiss on Adora’s bare shoulder. Luckily Adora was facing away from her, so Catra could approach from behind. Sometimes Adora startled awake very abruptly and it was not uncommon (since childhood, really, given that Catra loved to sneak into Adora’s bed) for Catra to be greeted with an accidental punch or kick to the face from a tense, anxious, and sleep-fighting Adora.

She kissed down Adora’s shoulder to the sliver of back exposed above the sheets. Adora didn’t stir. Brushing Adora’s hair away from her neck, Catra then nipped along the skin there, making her way up Adora’s spine. Still nothing from Adora. Huh. She is not usually that deep of a sleeper. She must be exhausted.

Adora was naked, they both were, but Catra would go no further below the sheets with her explorations until Adora woke up. She nuzzled against Adora’s jaw, before humming in Adora’s ear in her sultriest voice.

“Hey Adora…”

Catra braced herself to spring back should Adora shoot up in a panic. At least Adora didn’t keep a dagger under her pillow anymore, like they were taught to do.

Instead, Adora stirred slightly, blinking slowly awake.

“mmmhrg…” she murmurred incoherently, before flopping back so she was flat on her pillow and falling back asleep.

Catra laughed, her face hovering over Adora’s in this new position. She kissed her nose.

“Adoraaa…” she whined.

Adora’s eyes fluttered open again, still half-lidded and dazed.

“Cat-Catra…?”

A dopey smile formed on her face, as though she was surprised Catra was in bed with her. It was cute, but unusual for Adora to take so long to come to her senses in the morning.

“Were you expecting someone else, dummy?”

“Catra.” Adora repeated with a contented sigh as she closed her eyes again.

“Come on,” Catra teased, running a claw down the side of Adora’s face, “what’s with you? Since when do you get all lazy?”

“I’m not laz…” and she was asleep again.

Okay, Catra was a little worried now. She cupped Adora’s face in her hands, thumbs skimming over cheekbones.

“Babe,” she kissed one of Adora’s eyelids, keeping her concern out of her tone, “you have to wake up,” she kissed the other one.

“Bed soft,” Adora mumbled into Catra’s fur, “cat warm.”

Catra giggled, a purr rumbling though her as she felt Adora absentmindedly rub her face into her neck.

She realised she’s going to have to pull out all the stops. She slid lower, planting an opened-mouth kiss on Adora’s lips. Adora moaned into the kiss, pushing slightly up against her.

Her tongue darted out to trace Adora’s lower lip.

Adora squeaked, eyes flying open at the promise of what was to come, fingers lacing through Catra’s short hair to pull her down.

Finally.

Adora was kissing her passionately now, fully awake as she nudged into Catra, before effortlessly flipping them over with her immense strength.

“Wow,” Adora breathed, grinning down at Catra, “okay, I’m awake.”

“Heh, worked at the Heart,” Catra shrugged, “works now.”

“Maybe I should sleep in more.”

“Yessss,” Catra hissed, in part to agree with Adora’s statement, in part also because Adora chose that moment to rake her fingers through the fur down her stomach to rest her hand on her thigh.

Adora had just been really tired, Catra concluded, as Adora kissed her hard again, flushing all her worries out of her mind.

Catra’s hands, which had been resting on the back of Adora’s neck, slid down Adora’s front. Claws scraped casually across the failsafe scar against Adora’s chest.

Adora winced, biting down hard on Catra’s tongue at that.

“Ah!” they both gasped in pain at the same time, breaking apart.

“What was that?” Catra complained.

She tasted metal.

“Adora, shit, I’m bleeding! Did you just bite me?”

She glanced at Adora, only to find that Adora was inside her own head, eyes closed as nostrils flared with her hard breathing.  
“Adora…?”

Adora didn’t answer immediately, taking a moment to gather herself, the frown in her eyebrows slowly easing away.

“Are you alright?” Catra hated the squeak of fear in her own voice.

Adora focused her gaze on Catra again, forcing on a smile.

“How can I not be when I have the most beautiful woman in Etheria between my arms? Sorry about that. Got too excited.”

“Idiot.”

“Thank you,” Adora nodded, proud and cheeky, moving to kiss down Catra’s neck.

“Ah-Adora…” Catra groaned, frustrated at how effective Adora was at distracting her.

Fine, she’ll confront Adora about whatever just happened later. She looked down at the blonde head of hair now under her chin, tempted to run her fingers through the beautiful hair. So Catra did just that.

Something didn’t feel quite right, as Adora’s scalp seem to tingle against her palm. In the months they had been together, Catra had started to associate this feeling with Adora tapping into a certain magic.

“Adora… no She-ra in bed, not this morning. I want you.”

Adora was trembling slightly, her muscles straining and flexing, as though she was trying to keep it together. Which was weird. They haven’t even done anything strenuous.

And then she glitched. Glitched. It was the only way to describe whatever happened. Adora jerked and straightened for the briefest moment, a white light flashing through her entire being, before she returned to normal, panting hard. The burst of light wasn’t like She-ra’s glow. This was different. Catra didn’t like it. It reminded her of Shadow Weaver’s darker, electrical, more sinister, magic.

“Adora!” Catra gasped, fully worried now.

“Dammit,” Adora swore, before, “for the honour of Grayskull!”

Catra shielded her eyes as the good kind of glow flooded their bedroom, before her girlfriend’s 8-feet tall alter ego towered over her frame.

Catra frowned. She tapped She-ra’s mask with a metallic clink.

“I said no She-ra this time.”

She-ra smirked and winked at Catra, “Don’t lie,” she boomed, “you always say yes to She-ra.”

She-ra’s larger hand gave Catra’s thigh a squeeze, confident the catgirl wouldn’t be able to resist.

And normally, most days, that was true.

But She-ra’s smirk was artificial and her eyes were strained and Catra recognised all the signs of Adora trying to hide something.

“Well, I’m saying no today.”

“Huh?”

She-ra pulled back immediately, looking genuinely surprised.

“I want Adora.”

“She-ra is Adora.”

“Not to me.”

She-ra looked hurt.

“Adora, no, that’s not what I meant. She-ra is part of you, I get that. But she isn’t the only part of you I love. And I am in love with Adora, all of her.”

She-ra blushed, looking exactly like Adora did whenever Adora was shy.

“Well?” Catra probed again, “can I see her?”

“Fine,” Adora relented, after some deliberation, transforming back to herself.

Catra studied Adora closely, watching for any of the discomfort she saw earlier.

Adora raised a brow, voice low as she leaned back into Catra, “Now, where were we?”

Catra let Adora kiss down her shoulders and chest again, observing Adora’s every tiny movement while the blonde woman was distracted.

Pretty soon, Adora was breathless again, beads of sweat dripping into Catra’s fur. Catra gulped, afraid because weakness looked so foreign on Adora.

“So no…” Adora stopped to take a breath, “No She-ra? Huh. For real?”

“Adora, what is wrong with you?” Catra went straight to the point, pushing her girlfriend off her.

Adora went without much resistance, flopping back to her side of the bed, exhausted.

“I’m fine,” she insisted, “I’m just a bit sleepy, that’s all. We were up till really late last night, after all.”

Adora offered her hand to Catra, wiggling her fingers to try and entice Catra to grab on so she could pull her in.

“Adora.”

“What? Maybe you should be on top for once.”

Catra crossed her arms and stared her down.

“Trust me, in your state, you wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

“Prove i- Ah!”

Adora glitched again, right under Catra’s watchful gaze this time. When it was over she fell forwards, clutching her chest. The light over the failsafe stuttered.

“Adora!” Catra rushed over, catching Adora by the arms, “seriously, what’s the matter with you?”

Adora squirmed out of her grasp, so clumsily Catra almost fell off the bed. By the time Catra regained her balance Adora had bolted towards their bathroom and slammed the door shut.

“ADORA!” Catra banged her fists against the door, “What the hell!”

Her feline ears picked up everything despite her incessant knocking. She heard Adora slam against the opposite bathroom wall, before sliding down to drop to the ground. She could even hear Adora’s laboured breathing.

“For… for the… for the honour of Grayskull!”

“Adora if you transform into She-ra now I swear I will run that fucking sword through you myself!”

She stopped her knocking to cover her eyes at the bright light bursting through the seams of the door.

Catra was on the verge of kicking the door down now. But it swung open just in time, revealing She-ra in all her shining glory.

Catra stumbled back.

“Hey Catra,” She-ra grinned down at her.

Catra gave her a once-over, checking to make sure her girlfriend was alright. She seemed fine. More than fine. She was a goddess in this state. But Catra didn’t feel better about any of this.

“Adora, why do you have to be She-ra? What is going on?”

“What do you mean, ‘have to be She-ra’? I just feel like being She-ra! Big speech as her and everything today, after all. Got to get in the right mindset.”

“Ugh, come on! We said we were going to be open with each other. No more of the same mistakes from our past. What are you hiding?”

She-ra sighed, softening.

Her large hands rested on Catra’s shoulders as she leaned down to face her squarely.

“It’s just a pinch in my chest,” She-ra explained earnestly, “I think I… I think I might have overworked at the gym yesterday. She-ra’s healing powers help, so I’m gonna be her for now, alright?”

Catra was not convinced.

“It’s likely nothing,” Adora insisted.

Catra studied her girlfriend intently, “promise?”

She-ra paused, worry flashing through her face for a split second before it was replaced with a forced smile. Catra knew, after everything, Adora would never make a promise lightly.

“I should go practice my speech,” was all She-ra said, before turning on her heels and heading out the door.

Catra watched her leave, eyes narrowing to slits. Fine, if Adora was going to be secretive, she was going to have handle this her way.

She’s not going to let Adora charge headfirst into danger again. Not anymore.


	2. The Best Friends Squad to the rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kinds words and taking the time to read this!  
> Amazing prompts from you guys already! Am always just blown away by the creativity of others. Gonna try my best with the suggestions.

Catra didn’t hear a word of her girlfriend’s speech, simmering in frustration as she watched the rest of the princesses act so _unbothered_ by the fact that it was She-ra, not Adora, up there on the podium.

Sure, they didn’t get the full context, given Catra was the only one this morning who witnessed Adora literally be unable to be anything but She-ra, but still, why was She-ra giving this speech in the first place? It wasn’t like one needed super strength to read words off a tracker pad. _Adora_ saved the universe. Well, Adora and Catra, but Catra didn’t mind sharing the limelight with her girlfriend. Sometimes.

“Would you quit doing that?” Glimmer snapped.

“Huh?”

Glimmer batted at her tail, which Catra hadn’t noticed had been smacking against the queen’s shoulders incessantly while she was too preoccupied with worrying about Adora.

“Oops,” Catra forced her tail back to curl around her chair, refusing to apologise, “your shoulder was in the way, Sparkles.”

“You’re being snarkier than usual. What’s up?”

Bow leaned forwards to look past his girlfriend at her, “Yeah, Catra. Is anything wrong? You know there’s no secrets in the Best Friends Squad, right?”

“Tell that to Adora,” Catra shot back.

“So, I guess this is about Adora?” Glimmer asked.

“She was rehearsing her speech with you two, right? Tell me, did she seem _off_ to either of you?”

“Hmm… not really. Kinda nervous. But then, it is a bigger audience today. Some of the princesses have brought their advisors.”

“She does seem to be doing pretty well up there right now,” Bow added.

“Was she She-ra?” Catra asked.

“Yeah,” Glimmer replied.

“You don’t find that odd? It was just the three of you. She didn’t have to be.”

“Well she is making her speech as She-ra. Adora likes to be completely prepared.”

“We used to do fight simulations in full gear,” Bow reasoned.

“Don’t see anything out of character with that,” Glimmer agreed.

Catra scoffed at their pathetic explanations.

“You two don’t even care. As long as you’ve got She-ra, who needs Adora, right?”

Glimmer glared at Catra.

“That’s an unfair accusation, Catra. Adora’s our friend too. We obviously care about her.”

Even Bow’s face fell at Catra’s words, nodding with Glimmer in agreement.

Catra swallowed, realising she was slightly out of line with her last statement. With great difficulty, she uttered, “sorry.”

“What is it, Catra?” Bow asked, forgiving Catra already, tone kind.

“It’s… well… this morning. It isn’t just this morning actually… she’s been weird for like a week now…”

Catra stumbled through her words, wondering how much she should share. She wasn’t used to sharing _anything_ about her life with others. Not even with Adora when they were younger, and Adora was the closest anyone would ever get to Catra. But she supposed that’s what caused all their misunderstandings and repression through their lives. She needed to learn to trust.

Still. This was personal. Any moment she shared with Adora was intimate and private and she didn’t feel right talking about it in the middle of an audience where anyone could eavesdrop. She didn’t feel right talking about it to others _at all_.

But if anyone could help Adora, it would be these two, she realised grudgingly.

“Ugh. Can we like talk after the meeting or something? I can’t do this here,” she finally settled on saying.

“Sure, Catra,” Glimmer agreed, “we’ll find you after I conclude the meeting, alright? And then we can talk about Adora.”

“It doesn’t just have to be about Adora,” Bow added, “we’re here for you too.”

“Shut up, Arrow Boy.”

But it felt nice to be heard. Catra smiled to herself.

* * *

“Wait, what do you mean she ‘glitched’? Like how I kept glitching after escaping from Shadow Weaver and I couldn’t teleport?”

“How would I know what that looked like!” Catra snapped, “She just had some kind of a seizure or something. She was jerking all about. But it wasn’t a seizure because there was this snap of light. It was like she was electrocuted.”

“Okay then if you don’t know what glitching is, how do you know what being electrocuted is like?”

“Don’t ask.”

“Catra…,” Bow’s eyes were wide in sympathy and shining with tears now.

Catra hated that look on his face. But, she would get through this conversation. For Adora.

“Anyway,” Catra pushed on, “she was clutching at her chest after that. And that glow on the failsafe? It flickered.”

Bow scratched his chin, “well… when Adora had problems transforming into She-ra last time, there were times when she ‘flickered’ too. Could this be another She-ra issue? Maybe we should check her sword.”

“It’s the failsafe,” Catra was sure.

“How do you know that?”

Catra blushed.

“Well, when we uh…” she wasn’t used to talking about being physical with Adora. Again, it was private between the two of them, but she persevered, “when I touched her chest mid-kiss, she winced in pain and accidentally bit me. So hard I bled.”

Bow and Glimmer were pointedly avoiding eye contact with her, rendered silent by this very intimate confession.

Okay. Maybe she didn’t have to go into that much detail. But then again, it was an important contrast to point out, because Adora was usually so gentle with her.

“You have to understand,” Catra grit her teeth to stop herself from fleeing the room mid-sentence, “this isn’t a _thing_ we do. We’re not that sort of couple… not yet, at least.”

Catra wasn’t sure if her blush was radiating through her fur.

“We talked about this when we got together. And it’s just that, we’ve hurt each other so much in the past that now… we’re starting out by being careful with each other. And Adora is _always_ careful. She _never_ loses control. Even when I do. It’s always me who’s the one that’s accidentally -”

 _hurting her._ Catra couldn’t say it. But it was true. Unconsciously, her claws unsheathed at that, cutting into her palms, a painful reminder of the harm she tended to inflict, even when she tried her best not to.

With immense effort, given that her claws didn’t usually go _in_ when she was feeling tense and on guard, she retracted her claws.

“Just… just trust me,” she finally settled on saying, hating herself, “Adora can withstand a lot of pain. I would know. That failsafe must be hurting her quite a bit for her to... you know… forget and hurt me or whatever.”

Bow and Glimmer exchanged a worried glance. After a long pause, Glimmer finally looked back at Catra with dread on her face.

“Do you think Shadow Weaver was hiding something more about the failsafe when she pushed Adora into accepting it?” Glimmer asked.

 _Oh so now you guys suspect that bitch? When she was getting Adora to do it in the first place no one was on my side!_ Catra wanted to retort, but held her tongue. The important thing was that Glimmer and Bow understood now.

“Let’s not give her too much credit,” Catra said, “wouldn’t put it past her to not even check if there were any negative effects to the failsafe before suggesting it to Adora.”

“Sheesh,” Bow said.

“So what do we do?” Catra asked.

“I guess… we should talk to Adora about this?” Bow replied.

“Nope, she’s not going to tell you the truth. She’s hiding something. Which makes me sure it means it’s bad for her.”

“If this concerns her, we really shouldn’t be doing things behind her back…”

“We have no choice, Bow! You know how Adora is! She’s just going to say it isn’t the failsafe and we’re worrying too much and that everything is just fine and peachy as long as She-ra is around!”

“She’s technically right, isn’t she? She is She-ra. We could use her help.”

“So none of you see the problem with Adora _having_ to stay as She-ra all the time right now? She’s in pain and you still want her to solve this too?”

“Catra, be reasonable, please!” Glimmer snapped, “Taking advantage of Adora as She-ra is not what we want and you know it! You have to start accepting we are on the same side!”

“This is a problem concerning Adora,” Bow said evenly, “it just makes sense we talk to her too.”

Catra took a deep, shaky breath before she exploded. The pink flower princess popped into her head to count down her breaths. Catra wished a venus fly trap would swallow her up. But she had to admit imagining Perfuma’s words was actually helping.

“Bow, Glimmer, I have tried that. This morning. Adora. Doesn’t. Want. To. Talk. About. It. What makes you think she’s going to talk about this to _you_?”

To be honest, Catra didn’t want to find out if Adora _would_ choose to confide in Glimmer and Bow over her. She really, really didn’t want to think about it. But with Perfuma’s words in her head again she was starting to separate this as a problem she was creating rather than a problem caused by Adora. In any case, Bow and Glimmer did sense the tension around this topic and didn’t question Catra further.

The Best Friends Squad deliberated for a while, before Glimmer said, “Fine. We’ll work this out on our own first. Shall we start at Mystacor?”

“Why?”

“Well, for one, Adora could use some rest to recover,” Bow agreed.

“Also while she does that I can slip away to talk to my dad if there are any healing spells that are relevant. The failsafe was built there, some sorcery was probably incorporated into it by the First Ones.”

“Sorcery? Like Shadow Weaver magic?” Catra bristled, “No. We’re not touching that. Absolutely not.”

“Like my magic, Catra. Etheria’s magic. Safe magic.”

“Well you’re talking to Micah though… so Dark Magic.”

“Ugh, Catra!” Glimmer’s fists sparkled, “If you say something like that about my dad again…”

“Ladies, please,” Bow stepped in, “back to what’s best for Adora.”

It had become Bow’s go-to phrase whenever Catra and Glimmer were about to tear at each other. It always worked.

It did now, as Catra and Glimmer calmed down.

“I suppose while we’re there,” Catra suggested, “I will go through the tunnels to the Crystal of Arxia. See if Friends of Mara left any additional information about the failsafe.”

Glimmer brightened at that idea.

“You know what? After I talk to my dad I’ll come with you. You need sorcery to get past some of the illusions just like last time.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Okay, great!” Bow chimed in, happy that Glimmer and Catra were getting along, “I’ll accompany Adora then. Make sure she’s alright throughout the day.”

“And keep her away from our investigations,” Catra added.

“Uh…” Bow seemed a little unsure about that, but relented under Catra’s glare, “okay, okay. For now. But we are talking to her after we know more.”

That was fine with Catra. Once she finds out that the failsafe is hurting Adora like she suspected, she’s not going to let Adora off the hook, that’s for sure.

* * *

Catra was on their balcony, busy mapping in her head what she remembered of the tunnels below Mystacor when she heard She-ra’s heavy footsteps approach their bedroom door. The Princess Alliance meeting was long concluded, and Adora was still She-ra.

She heard the footsteps pause, before the door opened and lighter footsteps entered the bedroom. Clearly, Adora didn’t think Catra could _hear_ that she had delayed till the last possible moment to transform back to herself.

Adora joined her on the balcony.

“So,” Adora began, “apparently we’re going to Mystacor.”

Catra shrugged.

“It’s been a long three months. We could all use a break.”

She stuck to the story she had agreed upon with Bow and Glimmer.

“Glimmer said it was your idea?”

“She- she did?”

“Not exactly. It was her idea but she said you wanted this for me.”

Adora was giving her that look again, it was filled with so much tenderness Catra had to look away.

“Whatever.”

Adora laughed, “Sounds like you actually _like_ me.”

Catra turned to face Adora seriously.

“I do, Adora. I like you a lot. In fact, I love you. So much.”

Adora’s teasing smile wiped off her face at Catra’s unexpectedly earnest reply. No demand for Adora to shut up, no playful shove, no cutting retort back. It was rare for Catra to be so direct with her affection. Adora looked like she didn’t really know what to do with Catra’s straightforward confession.

“Uh… right…” Adora laughed awkwardly, “how… uh… how embarrassing…for… for you…”

_What a fucking idiot._

Catra really, really, couldn’t lose her.

So she pushed on, stepping closer to pull Adora down so that their forehead rested against each other.

She traced her finger down Adora’s neck, skated carefully around the glowing failsafe to rest her palm on Adora’s strong, beating heart.

“I love you,” Catra said it for them both, since Adora was clearly a little too overwhelmed to say it back.

And to make sure she knew exactly who Catra loved, that it wasn’t She-ra, that it was never She-ra, Catra added, with emphasis,

“ _Adora._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Confession: Actually Blackthorn kinda sorta kinky. So why Catradora so soft and vanilla? It’s three months post the S5 finale. A very fragile, new relationship, between two people with tankloads of trauma. The kink can only come later. Send prompts on how to fit this in as we go along, only if you want.  
> 2\. Glimbow is painted in a slightly negative light. BUT I LOVE THEM ALRIGHT NO WORRIES. This is Catra-POV, that’s why her (and by extension, the narrator’s) opinion on them is edgier.  
> 3\. Catra’s integration into the Best Friend’s Squad isn’t going to be smooth. They are too bright and sparkly for her, Adora included, when she’s around them. The thing that will bring Catra closer to Glimbow is doing something for Adora.  
> 4\. I headcanon that Catradora tease each other a lot, but every now and then one of them would say something extremely sincere to throw the other one off guard.
> 
> Cheers!  
> Blackthorn


	3. Mystacor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love me some Sparkle Kitten. KIDDING. While I love it, there will be no Glitra in this fic. This is pure 100% Catradora juice, with pulp.
> 
> Content warning: A brief description of a panic attack.

Catra bid Adora and Bow goodbye at the spas, bringing up her disdain for water as the excuse. She slipped behind some hedges as she watched the pair talk for a bit.

As expected, the moment Bow disappeared into the men’s changing room, She-ra resurfaced. Catra sighed.

She-ra walked to a nearby bench and sat down, a hand over her chest as she hunched over. Catra wanted so badly to go over and make it all better. She didn’t know how she would go about doing that, but it was better than watching the love of her life in pain.

Eventually She-ra seemed to have done her job, as the pain appeared to subside, and she shimmered back down to Adora as she walked into the women’s changing room.

Catra turned and headed to the tunnel entrance to meet with Glimmer, her resolve strengthened by what she had just witnessed.

* * *

They made it through the tunnels of Mystacor largely in silence, Glimmer bringing them through the illusions with relative ease now that her skills have developed under the tutelage of her father.

Despite the smooth passage the Queen’s frown was deepening as they ventured further.

When they finally reached the room with the Crystal of Arxia, Glimmer whispered, “I knew it.”

“Knew what?”

Catra followed her gaze to the centre of the room, where the large structure that originally stored the failsafe stood open.

“The tech the First Ones used in this crystal interacts with Etheria’s magic such that it should close after a period of inactivity. Given that it’s been months since we came back here, we shouldn’t have found it open.”

“You mean someone’s been here recently?”

“I felt it too. In the magic coursing through the illusions we passed. Someone brute-force-charged through them without sorcery skills.”

With a sinking feeling Catra realised that sounded like the modus operandi of someone she knew. And then her eyes landed on some scribbles along the carved First Ones inscriptions on the crystal pillars surrounding where the failsafe used to be.

She would recognise that handwriting anywhere.

“Adora’s been here recently,” she pointed out with a heavy heart.

It didn’t bode well. If Adora came here to investigate something and didn’t choose to share it with them, it didn’t bode well at all.

“Why would Adora keep this from us?” Glimmer sounded hurt.

“She’s being an idiot, that’s why!” Catra fumed, feeling anger at Adora rising to replace her fear.

They split up, Glimmer working her way round the First Ones inscriptions clockwise from the left, Catra heading right to work anti-clockwise.

“At least she’s dumb enough to write down her translations here instead of on a piece of paper,” Catra muttered to herself grumpily as she bent down to read Adora’s handwriting, “then we can read it too.”

But her mood to insult Adora died away almost immediately as she began to take in the words written on the pillars.

The Queen and the catgirl made their way round the monument in ominous silence, the atmosphere darkening with every new information they gleaned from the words in front of them. They finally met back at the start when both had made one round around the structure.

They stared at each other, expressions bleak.

“The failsafe was designed by Friends of Mara who thought there would be no She-ra left…” Glimmer began, “which means it was made without a She-ra in mind, and whoever accepted it wasn’t meant to survive the Heart at all…”

“… it works by absorbing the magic of the heart into the failsafe,” Catra added, “Meaning the willing soul that accepts it will have to bear the burden of that magic for the remainder of their life.”

They exchanged a look of dread, saying out loud the last sentence both had read, “and with time it’ll consume them whole.”

Glimmer had tears streaming down her face.

“The… the failsafe… it’s killing Adora…”

“GAH!” Catra roared, furious.

She aimed a kick at one of the pillars, landing on target with a loud bang that echoed through the large hall. She regretted it immediately as pain shot through her foot.

“IT”S JUST LIKE HER ISN’T IT” Catra cried, ignoring the throbbing in her toes, “Charging into all kinds of _crap_ without reading the fine print! And what is she playing at now? Not telling us about this? Is she suddenly going to… going to… one day I’ll wake up and I won’t be able to find her, and what? Would she just leave…?”

Catra’s throat was closing up.

_No no no_

Adora cannot die. Not now. Catra couldn’t lose her. Not now, not again, not ever.

“-atra? Catra!” Glimmer’s voice broke through her spiralling thoughts, “stay with me!”

Glimmer reached a tentative hand towards Catra, her fur shooting up on end when she felt the Queen’s hand rest on her shoulder. She took a deep breath, focusing on the steady hand squeezing her, centering her.

“You’re forgetting someone. _She-ra._ Adora is still with us. From what we’ve seen She-ra _can_ cope with the absorbed magic. As long as Adora has She-ra, we have Adora.”

Catra nodded wordlessly, agreeing with Glimmer. She was still trying to breathe through her tightened throat, so she was unable to say anything back. She closed her eyes and nodded along, focusing on the words Glimmer said.

_As long as Adora has She-ra, we have Adora_. _As long as Adora has She-ra, I have Adora_. _I have She-ra, and I have Adora._

Catra felt her heartbeat slow, as her breaths become steady. No need to panic now. Glimmer was right. She-ra was very much still with them. _Too_ much with them for Catra’s liking, in fact. But she was the only thing keeping Adora alive right now.

“Let’s just head back up, okay?” Glimmer asked gently, a thumb rubbing soothing circles through Catra’s fur, “We’ll find Adora, we’ll talk things through. We’ll figure something out.”

Catra nodded again, clearing her throat and trying to clear her mind of her panic as well. Perhaps seeing Adora would calm her down.

* * *

Seeing Adora did the opposite of calming her down.

Glimmer was filling Bow in on the details as the three of them waited for Adora outside the Spa changing room. Catra caught side of the characteristic glow fade away as She-ra transformed back into Adora just in time to emerge from the bathroom. The thought that Adora was willingly transforming out of being She-ra and hurting herself just so she could hide this secret infuriated Catra.

“WHEN EXACTLY WERE YOU PLANNING ON TELLING ME YOU’RE DYING?” Catra shouted, unable to beat around the bush at the sight of Adora.

Adora took a step back in shock.

“Catra!” Both Glimmer and Bow exclaimed.

“What? Catra…Wha-What are you talking about?” Adora stammered.

The nerve of Adora to look surprised.

“The failsafe! The magic that has been mined from Etheria! It’s been absorbed into that thing and it is currently burning you from the inside isn’t it?”

Catra launched forwards and jabbed a finger hard at Adora’s chest, aiming for the failsafe.

“AH!” Adora yelled in pain, glitching _hard_ this time, before collapsing to the ground.

“Adora!” Catra exclaimed, dropping to the ground and putting an arm around Adora, “SHIT I’m sorry!”

_Fuck._ Catra hated herself. She just couldn’t stop hurting the people she loved, could she?

“’m fine,” Adora choked out, one hand bracing herself on the ground.

“You’re not! Clearly! Adora, what’s happening to you?” Catra’s voice was cracking with the hot lump of anxiety building in her throat.

Adora bowled over, resting her head againt the forearm that was on the ground, “Heh. Guess there’s no point in hiding now is there…?”

She coughed out a weak laugh.

“For the honour of grayskull,” Adora could barely choke it out.

She burst into a ball of light.

She-ra rolled over and collapsed on her back, a look of immense relief on her face.

“There,” She-ra sighed, closing her eyes “much better.”

She-ra extended her long limbs out, laying out there spread-eagled outside the toilet as though she was already on the Mystacor beach.

Catra didn’t scold her for turning into She-ra this time, now that she understood the implications of Adora remaining as herself. She kneeled besides She-ra, brushing the stray strands of golden hair away from her face.

“She-ra can withstand the failsafe’s magic, right? That’s how she’s keeping you alive?”

She-ra opened her eyes, staring groggily at Catra, still recovering from being Adora, even for that brief moment. She grinned sheepishly.

“Yeah… I have a confession to make… It’s been why I’ve been staying as her. It wasn’t because of the princess speech, Catra. I could have rehearsed as myself.”

As though Catra needed that explained to her. Adora was ridiculous. But Catra loved her so much.

“So what now?” Catra asked, “Are you just going to have to remain as She-ra forever?”

It wasn’t ideal, in Catra’s opinion, but if that was what was needed to have Adora around, Catra would take it.

In fact, with Adora’s calming presence by her side once more, looking _healthy_ and _happy_ , Catra allowed herself to be optimistic again. She admired She-ra’s muscular frame, sprawled out on the floor beside her. _Well, if Adora was permanently She-ra…_ Catra smirked, _she could get used to this._

“ _Arxian Excissa,”_ came Glimmer’s voice from behind.

Catra turned to her, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Arxian Excissa, it was one of the things written on the Crystal of Arxia by the First Ones.”

“Yeah… I translated that,” She-ra chimed in proudly, “Didn’t know what it meant. But I translated it.”

“Wait,” She-ra shot up from the ground, suddenly realising something, “you guys went snooping round the Crystal of Arxia?”

“You’re one to talk,” Catra snapped back, “it’s good She-ra’s here to keep you alive.”

She jabbed a finger at She-ra’s forehead, “Now I can kill you for keeping a secret like that from me.”

She-ra scratched the back of her head and gave Catra a guilty smile, “Catra… I was working on it… on how to tell you… but then you said that thing the other day about how we’re not the same and you didn’t love She-ra but you love Adora…”

“Gosh, dummy, that’s not what I meant… Argh, you know what? It doesn’t matter now. You’re here. I don’t care if you have to be eight-foot tall forever. I might get some sunglasses and tanning lotion for all that glow though…”

She-ra and Catra exchanged a laugh, forgetting the world around them.

“If you two lovebirds would let me finish… I was about to get to a possible solution,” Glimmer cut in.

Catra turned to Glimmer, mood a lot better now, knowing Adora was safe and sound.

“Spit it out, Sparkles.”

“ _Arxian._ Old word for Mystacor. _Excissa._ Sorcery term for excision. My guess is that it’s listing a procedure the First Ones and the old Etherian Sorcerers created in the event that the failsafe ever needs to be excised from a soul.”

Catra’s heart soared with hope.

“Glimmer, that’s fantastic!” Catra didn’t realise she had used the Queen’s real name in her elation.

Catra leapt up from the ground, almost going to pull the other girl into a hug before she stopped herself. Her hands hovered above Glimmer’s arms before she dropped them to her side awkwardly.

“Right,” Catra cleared her throat, moving on, “so how do we perform an _Arxian Excissa_?”

“I’ll have to look in the Mystacor library. I’ll talk to my aunt and dad as well. I’m sure we’ll figure something out.”

“If it’s a blend of sorcery and First Ones tech,” Bow added, “I’ll do some tech research and talk to Entrapta.”

“You guys are awesome,” Catra couldn’t help but say, feeling overjoyed at the idea of having Adora back.

She could feel Bow staring at her with puppydog eyes at the praise. _Ugh_. She turned away and focused on She-ra.

Offering her hand for She-ra to pull herself up, Catra asked her, “So what do you say, princess? Could you do with a little less magic inside you?”

She-ra was looking at anywhere but Catra as she avoided Catra’s hand and got up herself. When she stood she continued to avoid Catra’s gaze, brushing some nonexistent dirt off her magic, perpetually-pristine pants.

Catra narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

“Adora?”

“I was thinking…” She-ra said to the ground, “I was thinking of keeping the failsafe…”

“What?” Bow exclaimed, echoing the other two.

“The thing is,” She-ra toed at a patch of grass with her foot, still not looking up as she continued explaining herself, “the First Ones didn’t just mine Etheria. They mined a bunch of other planets in the universe too. Krytis, for example. What if… what if there is another weapon just like our planet out there? If I remove the failsafe I’ll have nothing to stop that weapon.”

A long, pregnant pause followed She-ra’s confession as the other three took their time to process this new information.

“What. The. Fuck.” Catra finally managed.

She-ra’s head finally snapped up to meet Catra’s eyes.

“Catra, please. You have to understand. My ancestors made this mess… I have to make sure I can fix it…”

“So you’re just going to be She-ra all the time?”

“Catra, I’m still me!”

“That’s not even my problem with this plan! Look … in the event there is another planet as magical as Etheria. No, wait, _more_ powerful than Etheria. You’ve seen Melog. Krytis was probably way more dangerous than Etheria… So in the event we find out that this hypothetical planet has been made a weapon… Adora. What. What exactly are you planning to do?”

Catra already knew the answer, dreaded it in fact, but she asked anyway.

She-ra at least had the sense to look apologetic when she answered.

“Well… I guess… just like last time… Bring the failsafe to its heart…and absorb the magic there.”

“Adora!” Bow and Glimmer gasped at the same time.

A ringing had started in Catra’s ears. Catra recognised it as a raw, unadulterated rage.

She never knew love could hurt like this.

Stupid, _stupid,_ Adora.

She closed her eyes.

“That’s it,” and she herself was surprised at how cool and collected her tone was, “I’m done with you.”

With that, Catra spun round, getting on all fours so she could run away from the heartbreak as fast as possible.


	4. Melog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first reader prompt! I was initially planning to do prompts post-surgery, but your ideas are irresistible.
> 
> Suggesting to have Melog intervene and help these two very repressed ex child soldiers is *chef’s kiss*! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy, many thanks to DarkViral and Superamy777 for this genius idea.

When Catra bolted, Adora ran after her as fast as she could. Catra had always been faster, but with She-ra’s long legs Adora expected to have caught up with her by now. But Catra was nowhere to be seen.

Fortunately, Adora knew Mystacor better than Catra. She knew Catra well too, so she surveyed the gardens around Mystacor and figured out where Catra would most likely hide.

True enough, she found Catra’s paw prints in the ground when she reached a secluded corner of the gardens, where the greenery was slightly untamed and the trees were low and dense enough to hide someone human-sized.

“Catra, please,” Adora called out to her.

No response. Adora squinted up at the dense trees to see if she could spot the sillouhette of the magicat. No luck there. But with the footprints leading no further, Adora was sure Catra had climbed up one of the trees.

Her eyes landed on another set of paw prints. One belonging to a larger cat. Adora groaned. If Melog was here too, there was no way in hell Adora was going to be able to spot Catra.

“Catra, talk to me, please. I didn’t get a chance to explain myself.”

Adora backed away to address the trees in general. As she did something solid bumped against the back of She-ra’s calves. She spun around to find Melog materialising behind her, mane fiery and red as they bent low, ready to pounce.

Melog growled at her.

“I know you’re mad at me, Catra,” Adora said, noticing Melog’s state, “you think I’m choosing the universe over you.”

Melog growled long and low, as they seem torn between holding back and pouncing on She-ra. Adora had never seen Melog look frustrated like this before.

“That’s not it?” Adora questioned Catra, perplexed, “then why are you mad? Look, Catra, I’m not choosing anything over you. You ran off, and I followed you here. You used to hide away in the horde and I always found you, without fail. I never choose something else over you, Catra. That wasn’t why I left the Horde the first time, and that isn’t why I’m choosing to keep the failsafe now.”

Melog didn’t seem to calm with that, beginning to pace around She-ra. Adora figured she still hadn’t understood why Catra was upset with her.

“Okay if that isn’t it then what is it, Catra?” Adora pleaded, “I am trying to figure you out.”

She eyed the menacing cat circling her, “but you are not making it easy.”

“Ugh, I know I’m an idiot,” Adora sighed.

Melog thumped the ground with a front paw, as though in agreement. Adora deflated at that, losing the confidence she needed to remain as She-ra. She flickered back down to Adora, feeling the burn from the failsafe start right up immediately. But it was easy to ignore it when there was another hurt inside.

Melog’s red simmered down to a purple as the cat reeled back in surprise at Adora resurfacing. Adora was in no mood to entertain them.

Adora knew most times when Catra teased her about her intellect that Catra was only teasing or didn’t mean it. Adora found it endearing when it was so and liked that Catra was the only one who was allowed to make such jokes. But sometimes, like it did now, when it was used as a reason for Catra to stay away from her, it stung.

She knew it was the truth. She wasn’t the brightest. She did, after all, grow up in the Horde and remained totally oblivious to the destruction they were inflicting on Etheria. She spent so much of her childhood with Catra but was blind to the full extent to which her best friend suffered under their shared but biased commander. She spent so long, in the clasps of evil, blissful and ignorant and just watching… just watching, and moving along, going about her own business. Selfish and mindless and careless, as the world burned and suffered around her. She should have done something then. Should have opened her eyes more. Should have thought for herself. Should have saved Catra from _her_. Saved the Horde. Or rather, saved Etheria from the Horde. Even when she did try to start doing the right thing, she was too dumb to go back for Catra.

She would never make the same mistake again. If she had a chance to plan ahead, a chance to finally use her brain and be prepared for when the universe needed her, she was not going to lose that chance. Why couldn’t Catra see that?

The defensive side of her reared its head and she stood her ground. _Well,_ if Catra couldn’t accept that Adora was too dumb to figure out why she was mad, and if Catra was going to be so flaky and be “done with her” just like that, Adora was not going to grovel any further.

For all that show Catra puts on about asking Adora what she wants for herself, she sure was doing a spectacular job of not respecting Adora’s wishes.

Adora felt her own anger rising even as the now-purple cat yelped in a bit of fear and surprise. Adora looked up at the trees so she didn’t have to look at them.

“You know what, Catra? Mope all you want. It seems like I’m the only one trying to figure this out here. You say you want me to follow my heart, but when I say what I want to do with the failsafe, you run off and don’t tell me why. So if you’re going to be ‘done with’ your idiot girlfriend just like that, then guess what? I’m done with you too.”

The power of her rage was adequate fuel for She-ra again, so Adora transformed back and stormed off.

She-ra did not catch Melog turning a dark purple, their mane and tail drooping to the ground after her final words.

* * *

Catra had jumped down the tree in a panic when She-ra stormed away. It was reflex, because Adora leaving always made her scared. She was also genuinely surprised Adora had walked away from her. Adora was usually patient when Catra was upset. She even skipped dinners if that was how long it took for Catra to feel better. She wanted to go after Adora this time, but her pride was preventing her from running after She-ra immediately.

_Melog!_

Catra signalled telepathically to the cat. But Melog ignored her, bounding after Adora. They did several laps around She-ra’s feet as she headed out of the gardens, having the sense at least to remain invisible to She-ra.

Catra groaned and followed them.

Of course, She-ra went to the gym. Whenever Adora was upset she would vent through exercise and clearly, this had not changed even after the war.

Melog stood at the entrance to the gym, using their body to keep the door ajar as they turned to look at Catra.

_You coming?_

_Absolutely not! Come back here!_

Catra pointed at the spot beside her foot. Melog merely stared expectantly at her.

Adora yanked at the door handle.

“Come on, close! Useless door.”

Melog growled soundlessly at being squashed by She-ra’s forceful yanking of the door. Catra folded her arms and arched an eyebrow at the alien cat.

_Come here or get squashed by a giant warrior princess._

Melog narrowed their eyes at Catra, before tipping their head once at her in acknowledgement and slipping into the gym with She-ra.

She-ra let out a surprised yelp as the door suddenly banged shut.

Catra stared at the shut door and groaned, sliding down the wall beside it to mope on the ground outside.

After a couple of minutes she heard the punching began. She-ra was boxing. Catra hoped she wasn’t visualising the punching bag to be her.

Catra counted the sets.

8 sets of 8 punches, followed by 16 sets of high kicks, 8 for each leg. A classic Horde regime. Adora is nothing if not consistent.

Soon the sets were completed and Catra was greeted with silence.

And then, “Melog!”

She heard She-ra gasp. The cat must have turned off their invisibility to interact with She-ra.

Catra pricked her ears but couldn’t pick up anything louder than some murmuring. She-ra’s voice was after all much softer than her punches and kicks.

Catra reached out to Melog.

_What are you guys talking about?_

_Come in and ask her yourself._

_Melog!_

She was met with radio silence as Melog tuned her out. While she couldn’t hear anything, she felt a deep sadness settle in her chest, as Melog conveyed their emotions to her. Whatever Adora was saying, it was filling Melog, and therefore Catra, with sorrow. Catra wanted to cry.

After a very long while, Catra heard the punching restart and spotted Melog jumping out of the gym from one of its high windows. Catra had never seen Melog in such a deep shade of blue. Their mane almost nonexistent, ears drooped flat to their head, tail dragging behind them. They crawled along one of the beams supporting the ceiling till they stood directly above Catra. They turned to look down, and red, glowing eyes stared down sternly at Catra.

Catra gulped.

_You have been cruel. She’s hurt by what you think of her. And yet, somehow, she will probably only listen to you. Don’t lose her because of your pride and impatience, Catra._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did Adora say to Melog? Everything that she thought but didn’t say out loud in the first scene in the gardens. About thinking she was stupid for not having seen the harm the Horde was inflicting on the world and on Catra, and her guilt and desire to fix it. Basically, classic Adora shit. My first Adora-POV scene, so still getting used to writing in her voice.
> 
> I didn’t get Melog to tell Catra what Adora said because I didn’t want it to seem like Catra eavesdropped on Adora. The two have enough trust issues to fix as it is. I ended up imagining this Melog to be a rather harsh and strict guiding light in Catra’s life and I don’t know why.
> 
> Thanks for the wonderful prompt!
> 
> Next chapter isn’t written, but pretty excited about it. Might be tomorrow, might take a while. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. Finn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally had time to update! This is one of the bigger chapters of the fic that I planned from the beginning, and I'm just really excited to write and post it. Therefore not proof-read, which I will probably do tomorrow.
> 
> Content warning: Mentions of psychological and physical abuse. Because Shadow Weaver. At a level of violence not beyond what has been depicted in the show (in my unprofessional opinion, so please avoid if such topics are in general triggering for you)

The punching had restarted when Catra finally gathered enough courage to enter the gym. She-ra was red in the face, sweat dripping down her chin, as she went at the punching bag with full force.

Because it was She-ra, the punching bag was practically in tatters by now.

“Adora.”

The only acknowledgement She-ra gave that Catra had entered the gym was a particularly swift kick against the bag, the impact of it echoing around the empty gym.

Catra winced. She never expected Adora to be _this_ mad. In fact, Adora had never gotten angry with her since they had gotten together.

“Adora.”

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you ‘done’ with me?”

“Ugh, Adora, what do you want? An apology? Because you’re not getting one. I have every right to be angry with that choice you made. You’re my…”

Catra muttered the rest of it under her breath, “… you’re my person… or whatever.”

She-ra paused, catching the punching bag as it swung back towards her.

“Am I…?” She-ra gulped, sounding small and frightened of Catra’s answer, “…still?”

Catra rolled her eyes, “of course, Dummy.”

She-ra stiffened at the pet name, once filled with so much benign jesting between the two of them, but now tainted by how Catra had used it as a reason to run away from Adora.

Guilt bubbled up inside Catra, and she fought with herself, struggling to form an apology. Pride was hard earned for Catra, and losing it wasn’t often worth saying sorry. But this time it was.

“Look, Adora. I don’t mean to call-”

She was interrupted as the punching restarted.

“Still your person even if I have to be She-ra forever?”

Catra lost it.

“Gods, you’re really an idiot, aren’t you?”

She-ra missed the bag, and for a moment the glow faded as she flickered down to Adora, tumbling forwards to the floor from the momentum of her swing.

Adora groaned and rolled over, covering her face with her hands before she mustered enough energy to transform back. But this She-ra looked decidedly more deflated as she lay crumpled on the floor.

Shit. Catra inwardly cursed. She had no impulse control, didn’t she? Shooting her mouth off and insulting anyone the moment she felt a tinge of vulnerability. She was quite literally, as she looked at She-ra on the ground, kicking someone when they were already down.

Catra gingerly approached the breathless and panting She-ra, crouching down to sit beside her. She hugged her legs to her chest as she began to explain herself out of this mess.

“Adora, I’m sorry,” she began, “I shouldn’t have insulted you. What I meant to say was… I don’t have a problem with She-ra. You know that.”

She-ra lifted a giant hand away from her face to peek up at Catra.

“You don’t?”

_Duh. Haven’t I said that before?_ Catra nearly bit her tongue with the effort to hold off her initial caustic retort.

Instead, with patience, she replied, “Of course not. If you have to be her to stay alive, so be it. I will love you just the same. She’s part of you.”

“So why are you so upset?”

Again, Catra had to fight off her reflex, which was to snap at Adora for being too dense to figure it out after everything they had been through the last time Adora first accepted the failsafe.

“I am upset because you are sacrificing yourself again by keeping the failsafe in.”

There was a long pause as Adora digested this fact.

“Catra, I have to do this.”

“No, you don’t. Why do you think so?”

“What if- ”

“If, Adora, _if._ There is no threat. We don’t know of any other planetary weapons. Horde Prime is defeated. We are finally in contact with the rest of the universe and I think we can safely say there is peace now. What are you afraid of?”

“We don’t know what else the First Ones have done.”

“Exactly! You don’t know! You think the failsafe is going to be the solution to everything? You think…”

Bile rose in Catra’s throat at her next thought, but she forced her churning stomach to quiet as she made herself spell it out for Adora, since she clearly needed it.

“You think… sac-sacrificing yourself is the solution to everything…?”

“No-No… Well, no, not exactly. But-but,” Adora stammered, a blush spreading down She-ra’s neck as Catra poked holes in her plan, “I don’t know… I just can’t _live_ with myself if something happens and I know that… there was something I could have done… even if it means… I have to …”

She-ra’s hands were back over her face.

“To what, Adora?”

The words were muffled as She-ra mumbled it into her hands.

“… die trying.”

Catra groaned.

“Do I have to remind you of what Mara said?”

Adora had told her about her visions in the Heart. And Catra would forever be grateful to the last She-ra for what she had done to bring Adora to her senses.

She-ra sat up to plead with Catra.

“Catra, I thought about this. Why do you think I went snooping around the Crystals? I wanted to find a solution. I remember what Mara said, and I do want to live a life with love and happiness. With you.”

This only served to infuriate Catra further.

“So you _knew_??? You knew about the failsafe excision and not only were you not going to do it, you were not going to tell me?!”

“No, well I didn’t know about _Arxian Excissa,_ but everything else I read about the failsafe got me thinking… The First Ones were applying pretty general principles to its design. If there is another weapon out there… I have to keep this in to stop it.”

“No, you don’t!” Catra tugged at her mane, “It doesn’t have to be you! You don’t have to walk into the Heart of another planet and burn yourself to a crisp to save the universe again!”

“Who else, Catra? I’m the only one who might survive! And I have survived.”

“Adora!”

“What?”

Catra was trembling with heartbreak and frustration but the sight of a desperately clueless Adora in front of her gave her the strength to rein it all in.

“Like you said, Catra,” She-ra continued, “there is no threat. You don’t have to worry about losing me. This is sort of a just-in-case thing. For no better word… a failsafe… in case the universe gets in trouble again. Then I will be ready.”

Catra was near tears.

“Why…? Why is this the only solution you can think of? Can’t you see that there are other solutions in front of you? Off the top of my head, Entrapta is studying the remnants of the Heart to look for possible weaknesses. Hordak and his brothers are trying to hack into Prime’s database, and we know their tech is more advanced than the First Ones. There are other options that will come eventually from these endeavours, Adora. Options that don’t require you walking to your death.”

“So let me keep this in then, please, in the meantime. Until they work it out.”

They were almost going in circles with this.

“Why?!” Catra practically cried out.

“Because I have to, alright?” She-ra snapped, wringing her hands through her hair as she looked at anywhere but Catra, “I have to. I just have to.”

Catra sighed.

“Why?” She repeated, for what felt like the millionth time, her voice gentler now as she looked at She-ra’s desperation.

“Without it… without a plan… without knowing that I can be there for the people I love,” She-ra hugged herself to make herself smaller, “… I am nothing.”

Well.

Fuck.

Catra closed her eyes, letting out a long breath to stop herself from just collapsing to the floor to scream and cry.

And to think she used to envy Adora growing up. How she was given all the responsibilities and opportunities in the Horde to lead everyone. How Shadow Weaver had put her on a pedestal and said she would one day be the key to the Horde’s and Etheria’s success. Catra had spent _years_ just wishing she would have an ounce of the treatment that Adora received.

Not anymore.

“I have to keep the failsafe in, Catra. I have to know that I will always be ready to protect everyone. I have to. It’s the only way I feel… whole.”

Fuck.

That woman really did a number on Adora.

“Catra, I’m sorry. I know it’s stupid to think this way but-”

“You’re not stupid,” Catra hurriedly squeezed in, guilty from how her insults had made Adora insecure.

“Okay, not stupid then… _Selfish_ to keep it in so I can feel better. But this is what I want, Catra. I want to be of use to the Universe. And you’ve always said I should go for what I want, right?”

Catra couldn’t keep her emotions controlled any longer, she pulled She-ra into her arms, hugging her close to her chest. At other times with She-ra’s height this would have been impossible, but thankfully they were both still seated on the floor.

“Cat-Catra?” She-ra stammered in surprise, even as she sunk into the hug.

“I’m sorry, Adora, I’m so sorry…”

She-ra emitted a shocked squeak, never having heard Catra apologise so profusely, and for seemingly no apparent reason.

“What for…?”

“I just… sorry,” Catra let out a sigh and a sob, before nuzzling into the top of She-ra’s hair.

She really felt sorry for Adora then, for how she had been so systematically brainwashed into thinking that killing herself to save others could actually be a legitimate thing to _want_.

They stayed that way for a while, She-ra slightly stiff and unsure in Catra’s arms, not quite being comforted but doing the comforting instead, as she petted a hand awkwardly against Catra’s back while Catra sniffed and sobbed.

Eventually, they broke apart, and She-ra smiled tentatively.

“So… are we good now? Can I do one selfish thing for me and keep the failsafe in?”

Catra rubbed her tears away.

“Oh, Adora. You are not being selfish. The opposite in fact. Think about it. Your one selfish act is to be your alter ego forever? Just so you are ready for a hypothetical day you sacrifice yourself all over again? This can’t be what you want. At least from what I know of you. And I _know_ you, Adora. More than you know yourself.”

“What do you mean?”

Catra sighed, a sad smile forming on her face.

“Do you remember Finn?”

Adora’s face fell with recognition immediately.

* * *

_Ten Years Ago_

Adora was alone, in the cadet locker room, and had been for the past 2 hours. She was on her forty-eighth rep of the boxing routine they had to do in training earlier that day.

Her knuckles were red raw and bleeding slightly, her muscles burning. But she was not going to stop until she finished seventy-six reps. One rep for every second she had been over.

And she was seventy-six seconds late in the last princess battle simulation.

Seventy-six seconds was all it took to lose Finn.

The door swung open and Catra slipped in, standing by the punching bag as she watched Adora work, arms crossed.

“Okay, you can go for dinner now,” Catra drawled.

“I’m on forty-eight. Eighteen more to go.”

“It’s twenty-eight more reps, Dummy.”

Catra knew her too well, for her to have immediately guessed that Adora was doing a rep for every second that she had exceeded the time limit of their simulation run.

“That many?” Adora groaned under her breath, “Fine.”

There was a long pause as Catra watch her finish the rep. Adora flung her hands a few time to shake away the pain. A few drops of blood splattered on the ground.

“Finn doesn’t exist, by the way.”

“I’m not that stupid, Catra. I know that.”

“You’re literally punishing yourself for lines of code. They just look real. But their essentially a hologram. You were late to complete a simulation so the program stopped projecting a hologram. That was exactly what happened at training. Is it really worth your past two hours of suffering?”

“Catra, what do you want? Just let me be.”

“Ugh, would you just go eat! I already told Shadow Weaver you went to dinner so you might as well do it. She’s not going to know you finished your punishment reps.”

Adora stopped punching. She rested her forehead on the leather, evidently extremely exhausted.

“Why did you do that, Catra? I was going to finish the reps. She’s not going to be pleased that I didn’t take the punishment seriously.”

“Oh, she wasn’t pleased,” Catra corrected Adora wryly, laughing a little at the memory of Shadow Weaver fuming, “but it’s done now. She’s gotten over it. Go eat.”

Adora perked up from where she was slumped over the punching bag, watching Catra warily.

“What exactly did you say to her, Catra?”

“What? Don’t worry, okay? I’m careful. I didn’t get you into trouble. I said I begged you to come to dinner before you could finish so I could have your extra ration bar.”

The best performing cadet typically got an extra ration bar for dinner, which usually happened to be Adora.

Adora narrowed her eyes.

“Catra, you didn’t have to take the fall for me.”

Catra snorted, turning away to hide a faint blush.

“How full of yourself are you? I didn’t do anything for you. The extra ration bar is grey. Shadow Weaver took my ration away because I am ‘distracting’ you from your punishment. But that’s a brown bar. So give me your grey one and we’re even.”

Adora laughed.

“Did you really trick Shadow Weaver so you could get better food?”

She lumbered over to Catra, stumbling a little from exhaustion, before locking Catra’s head under her arm.

“That’s really sneaky, you know? But brilliant. You’re brilliant, Catra.”

Catra was blushing harder now, trying to wiggle her way out of the deadlock.

“Quit it, Adora!”

Catra couldn’t help but squeal and giggle as she said it, feeling joy from seeing the relief wash over Adora after she realised she did not have to finish her punishment.

Adora locked her arm around Catra tighter and went for her mane, rubbing her knuckles into the soft area a little behind her ears. Adora knew Catra was sensitive there.

“Adoraaa… OW, STOP!”

Catra shouted the last bit, clawing at Adora as she stumbled out of Adora’s grasp.

“Catra, what-?”

Catra shrunk away from Adora, running her own hand through the back of her head and wincing as she felt a bump forming.

_Dammit._

“What have you got there?”

Adora was approaching her again, hand outstretched and reaching for Catra’s head. Catra shoved her away.

“Nothing! You were just really rough. I’m not the punching bag, you know?”

“Catra.”

Adora was unconvinced, still studying Catra closely, eyes worried.

Catra smoothed her mane down over her bruise, before heading for the door, avoiding Adora’s gaze.

“Come on, let’s get to the canteen. If we’re late and you don’t get to collect my grey bar because of that, I will kill you.”

She let Adora win as they raced to the canteen, falling behind so she could soothe a hand over the bump on her head.

Adora does not need to know that Shadow Weaver had slammed her against a wall when she broke the news about Adora’s incomplete punishment.

-

But maybe Adora did guess what happened. They snuck away after collecting dinner to climb up to _their_ spot on the roof, watching the sunset over the Fright Zone.

Adora had been really quiet since, deep in thought.

Catra didn’t want Adora to dwell too much on what was likely her imagining what happened between Catra and Shadow Weaver. She eyed the grey and brown ration bars in Adora’s lap.

There was a time when Catra was a kitten when she felt it was supremely unfair how Adora was granted two bars when Catra went without even one on some nights. But now as a slightly older kitten, Catra liked to think she had long since gotten over it. Or at least she thought she did.

“So. You’re going to give me the grey one, or what? You do realise I have no dinner tonight, right? It was part of the deal.”

Adora nodded, still distracted and staring blankly into the distance. Catra shrugged, grabbing the grey bar from Adora’s lap and digging in. She was famished, after all, even if Adora didn’t seem to be.

“I’m going to be Force Captain one day, Catra,” Adora said suddenly.

“Great,” Catra licked the ration wrapper, unsurprised by Adora’s ambitious proclamation, “Shadow Weaver will be proud.”

“And then I’m going to be Force Commander. And eventually, Horde Lord.”

Catra paused her lapping and looked curiously at Adora.

“Is that what you really want? To rule the world?”

Adora unwrapped her brown ration, crumbling the foil in a tight fist.

“To set it right. I have to,” Adora said.

“I mean, what’s wrong with the world? It’s kinda perfect as it is already, don’t you think?”

It was obviously sarcastic, the Fright Zone and the Horde was a clusterfuck, and Catra didn’t know enough of the world outside it to assume the rest of Etheria was any better. But as usual Adora didn’t catch the sarcasm.

“Well to start,” Adora answered Catra’s question sincerely, “Shadow Weaver will not be allowed anywhere near any cadet when I’m in charge.”

Catra’s insides squirmed as a confusing mess of emotions bubbled forth. First, there was panic, with the confirmation that Adora _knew,_ or at least guessed extremely accurately, what Shadow Weaver had done to Catra that night. Then there was frustration at herself for not having been able to hide it well enough, for showing such obvious weakness when Adora and the other cadets never showed any. Then there was comfort and warmth, at the idea that Adora was feeling _protective_ over her, getting angry at Shadow Weaver on her behalf and wanting to change things _for_ Catra. And finally confusion and denial at the positive feelings she was having towards Adora at that point.

She pushed it all away and forced out a jibe at Adora’s plan.

“Seriously? You run the world and that’s the first thing you’ll do? If you fire Shadow Weaver, who is going to manage the nursery? You want crying kids running amok all over the Fright Zone on your first day on the job? That’s stupid, Adora.”

Adora pretended to laugh, looking a little embarrassed as she picked at the brown crumbs.

“Well I could, you know… take some of the cadets under my wings.”

Adora said that part very quietly, still looking pointedly down at her dinner.

Catra smiled as she studied Adora, feeling some strange butterflies at the new thought of a grown-up Adora training the new cohort of cadets. The feeling frightened her even more than the mess of emotions earlier, and she had to push it away too.

“Wow. So now you want to be the next Shadow Weaver. Fantastic.”

Adora’s head shot up, eyes pleading as she looked at Catra.

“What? No way! Catra, that’s not- I don’t … I mean, I figured-”

Catra laughed at Adora’s panicked expression.

“I was kidding. You’re no Shadow Weaver. For one thing, I _know_ your taste in masks would be better. Knowing you, you might even forgo the mask for a tiara, _Horde Lord_ Adora.”

“Ew! No tiara!”

They both laughed, Catra reaching over to help herself with some of Adora’s brown rations.

“So, if you’re running the Horde, I’m running it with you, right?” Catra asked.

“Uh-huh. We’ll be co-commanders. Or co-lords. Is that a word?”

“We’ll make it a word. We’re in charge, we can do whatever we want.”

“Great! Co-lords Adora and Catra. Sounds good.”

“Okay, so what’s _really_ our first order of business?”

Adora thought about it for a while, before saying sheepishly, “honestly, I haven’t figured it out beyond looking out for the younger cadets. Make sure they, I dunno, get a better life.”

“Really, Adora? Man, you think small,” Catra sighed, “Fine, what would we do with a bunch of baby cadets on our hands then?”

“Hmmm… definitely no punishment reps. No confiscating dinners. Grey rations only. No one allowed in the Black Garnet Quarters, where Shadow Weaver shall be confined permanently. Finn gets proper security looking after them, no more Princesses kidnapping Finn.”

Catra laughed at the last bit.

“Adora, Finn isn’t-”

“Real, I know, I know. But the brief says they’re a Horde Cadet, right? We don’t know what the Princesses will do in the future. But when we’re Horde Lords, we’re not going to use any cadet as bait, that’s for sure. Just like what Finn has been used for in almost every simulation scenario.”

Catra nodded. They settled into a comfortable silence, both lapsing into their individual imaginations as they thought of what the world could be like if they were in charge.

“If a cadet comes into the nursery one day without a name, we could name them Finn,” Catra thought out loud, “since you like the fake kid so much.”

Adora brightened at that idea, grinning at Catra, “that’s a beautiful name!”

“Any name is better than Catra Applesauce Meowmeow.”

Adora flushed hard.

“Catra, how many times do you want me to apologise for that? I was four.”

“A lifetime of apologies will never make up for that crap name.”

“Fine. Then you can name all the cadets when we’re Horde Lords.”

“I expect that at the very least. We can’t trust you with that responsibility.”

They both laughed, the foul taste of their dinners and pain from their respective punishments long forgotten as they continued to discuss back and forth about what they would do with Finn and the other younger cadets they had to look after as Horde Lords.

* * *

_Present Day_

“For years since then we never stopped talking about running the world,” Catra said, “I think at some point we really should have stopped. Knowing now that actually neither of us really wanted it.”

She-ra nodded, looking melancholic.

“But while I would talk about the grand things we would do if we _did_ rule Etheria…” Catra continued, “you never stopped talking about something much smaller.”

She-ra bit her lip as she reminisced.

“Finn,” Catra finished her thought.

“Finn isn’t real.”

“You’re one to talk. Finn was very real to you at one point in our lives. By the time we were sixteen you still didn’t stop talking about them. Way too old to play make-believe, but that’s what we were doing.”

“Yeah,” She-ra gave a shy smile.

“You would tell me about the tent we would set up in the Whispering Woods so Finn could be raised in greenery instead of in the smog of the Fright Zone. I would argue back that it would be impossible to run the army remotely from a freaking tent in the middle of nowhere. You would talk about teaching Finn how to drive a skiff and then sneaking away to race with them. And I would complain about how that would mean you were skipping inspection duties and leaving them all for me to do. You used to wake me up at night so we could sneak to the nursery and decide which baby looked most like a Finn.”

She-ra had her eyes closed now, picturing all the memories that Catra was listing, the smile on her face getting wider, even as a blush dusted her cheeks.

“Do you see where I am going with this, Adora?”

She-ra opened her eyes to look at Catra, understanding finally dawning upon her.

“In your own little way,” Catra explained, “even before you were having dying visions at the Heart of our future together, you already knew what you wanted for your life.

“Fighting in a war. Finding purpose in being the saviour of the universe. Even having to be She-ra all the time. It isn’t really you, is it, Adora?”

Catra swallowed, forcing herself to put her own wishes aside to say the next bit, “because if it really is? So be it. I want you to know, I will support you, Adora. If keeping the failsafe in is really what you want… If being prepared to face the threats of the future this way is truly your wish… It has taken me years to realise this, but I will always be by your side, whatever you choose… Just like I was there, at the Heart, with you.

“But know also that you are no longer alone in this journey. Whatever the future throws our way, weapons of mass destruction or wars or threats or new magic… Sparkles and Arrow Boy and the Princess Alliance, even Hordak and his brothers, and-and me… we’ll figure something out. I know we will. It doesn’t always have to be you. Only if you want it to be you.”

“Catra.”

She-ra had tears streaming down her eyes at this revelation. She choked out a sob even as she leaned forward, forehead touching Catra’s.

“You’re right. Gosh, Catra, you’re right. Thank you.”

Catra could feel a purr bursting forth as she swelled with pride and love.

“I have been an idiot.”

Catra laughed, happy that the term has returned back to the safe waters of teasing, “Yeah, my idiot.”

With a shaky laugh She-ra shimmered back down to Adora, frowning at the discomfort of the failsafe momentarily before easing the frown away with a watery smile.

Adora laced her hands with Catra’s.

“I want a future with you, Catra,” Adora whispered, almost tentative with voicing her innermost desires out loud, “and I want this future as Adora.”

Catra sighed with relief, unable to stop the grin from splitting across her face.

“Then let’s get that failsafe out of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays!


	6. The words Catra thought she would never say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by a reader included in here. GENIUS prompt, changed the ending of this chapter to be way more exciting than what I came up with myself. To avoid spoilers for everyone including the prompt suggestor, I have stated the exact prompt and credit to the suggestor in the author’s notes after the chapter!

“Adora,” Catra groaned, trying to catch her breath, “I can’t breathe.”

“Sorry,” She-ra grumbled from on top of her, sounding equally out of breath.

With a huge grunt, she pushed herself off Catra and flipped over onto her back to lay beside Catra, sounding like she required immense effort to do so. Catra giggled, feeling pleased with herself that she could tire even the great She-ra out.

Catra turned to lay on her side so she could face her girlfriend, tracing patterns in She-ra’s arm, admiring the sheen of sweat coating She-ra’s bare chest.

The glow of the failsafe thumped steadily with She-ra’s slowing heartbeat, strong and steady, no flickering or glitching, giving Catra continued assurance that Adora was _well_ and _here_. Thank heavens for She-ra.

“Do you believe me now?” Catra asked, “When I said I would have been totally fine if you had to be She-ra all our lives?”

She-ra smirked.

“Just ‘fine’? Babe, I think I made sure you were more than ‘fine’ with She-ra.”

Catra prodded a claw into the substantial bicep.

“Arrogant prat.”

That seemed to stroke She-ra’s ego even more.

“I think you were beyond ‘fine’ three minutes in. First one was quick. My personal best, I think.”

“You’ve been timing me? Fuck you.”

Catra flopped on her back, wrapping the sheet around her chest, slightly self-conscious by how _easy_ she had been earlier. But knowing Adora had decided to prioritise herself first for once and was finally taking steps towards their future together had put Catra in a _mood._

“Just did,” She-ra continued to gloat, “five times. Might be another personal best.”

“It’s not a competition. And you should stop treating me like an exercise regime. With the timings and the PBs. It does nothing for me.”

“That’s not what I gathered from earlier.”

“Has She-ra always been such an ass?” Catra snapped, though she secretly enjoyed seeing this surer side of Adora.

Her feelings towards this alter-ego were always going to be complicated given their history, but one thing she could not deny was that She-ra, at least the new She-ra with Adora’s sword, was in essence, a supercharged version of all that was great about Adora. From the confidence and the muscles, to the magic and the power and all the _love_ Adora had to offer, right down to even the stupid hair poof. It was all Adora. So it was impossible not to love it when Adora was so comfortable and _happy_ in this She-ra form.

“You love it,” She-ra proclaimed on behalf of Catra, something Adora as herself rarely had the courage to do.

Catra laughed, deciding that after the great communication they just shared very recently, there was no point in lying now.

“I do, I really do.”

She-ra basked in Catra’s infrequent and open admission, her glow seeming to thrum stronger from Catra’s love, before she pulled Catra into a cuddle.

As Catra settled snugly in the crook of her arm, She-ra said, “You’ll get Adora back soon, I promise. I know you miss her.”

“That’s not why you’re doing the surgery, right?” Catra shifted to look seriously at She-ra.

“Nope. This isn’t for you.”

Catra studied She-ra carefully, “Honest?”

“Honest.”

She-ra gave her a shy, small smile that made her look more like Adora than she’d been looking for the past few days.

Pink dusted her cheeks.

“I… I want this,” She-ra said softly, unsure, before clearing her throat to assert her voice more confidently, “I want this for myself.”

Catra continued to look at She-ra, before she couldn’t help but beam at her girlfriend. She was so, so proud of Adora.

“Getting you to admit that out loud?” Catra quirked an eyebrow, “must be _my_ personal best. Fuck, I’m hot again.”

She-ra’s face broke with laughter, before it turned into a mischievous smirk. Catra yelped as She-ra pulled her up to straddle her waist.

“Hypocrite,” She-ra declared, before her hands settled firmly around Catra’s hips.

* * *

The War Room back in Brightmoon was abuzz with activity, as the Princess Alliance and their various associates had gathered to discuss the Failsafe Excision.

Adora gulped, standing nervously outside, dreading entering. As usual, everyone had gathered for a singular purpose. But it felt weird for Adora this time, because that singular purpose wasn’t saving the world, wasn’t even to discuss what She-ra could do for them. They were all here to help _her._

She didn’t know what to do with that sort of attention.

She felt gentle arms wrap around her waist from behind, before the lithe form of her girlfriend pressed into her back. Well, the small of She-ra’s back, to be precise. Catra had somehow soundlessly slipped out of the room to join her by her side, knowing she would need the support.

“There’s an ice cream cake inside,” Catra murmured against her, completely out of the blue, “apparently cake can be combined with ice cream. Wild, isn’t it?”

Adora giggled, not quite understanding how two of her favourite foods would work together, but more in awe of how Catra knew exactly what to say to make her less anxious.

The magicat might be terrible with expressing her emotions, but she sure knew how to read Adora’s.

“Nobody’s talking about you or the failsafe. Glimmer and Entrapta, who are supposed to be leading the meeting, are distracted and exchanging notes on how to make the cake tinier. It’s ridiculous. Why do you want less of good food?”

It should be unsettling how Catra had pinpointed the root of Adora’s nerves so accurately, while not drawing direct attention to it.

“We saved a slice for you. You should come in soon. Before it melts. Or worse, I finish it.”

Adora laughed, spinning around in Catra’s arms so she could face her. This was one of the things she missed most about having Catra by her side. Bow and Glimmer were always face-your-fears-and-anxieties-head-on type of people all the time. Sometimes it was easier just to pretend she was okay and brave about whatever situation they were facing and get on with it, swallowing her screams and fighting alone the urge to run away and hide.

But not Catra. Catra could make any daunting task seem like a game. She made the gravest of things light, manageable, just another thing to get through, as a team. They both had to learn this, with all the things they went through in the Horde together. Nobody in all of Etheria but Catra would understand how it was sometimes the only way to survive the endless things they didn’t want to do but had to growing up.

“Don’t you dare,” Adora teased, “you know I love ice cream. And cake.”

Catra pulled away, tugging She-ra’s hand to pull her along, “Well, come on, then.”

* * *

Adora was debating whether it would be too embarrassing to lick her plate when Glimmer clinked her glass, standing up.

“Now that everyone’s settled and Adora’s here,” she smiled at Adora, “we can begin.”

Adora gulped. No running away now. As if sensing her nerves about Glimmer drawing attention to her, Catra slipped a hand under the table to give her thigh a reassuring squeeze.

“Dad,” Glimmer nodded to Micah.

Micah, Castapella and Glimmer kicked off the meeting, and Adora soon lost track as the three droned on and on about increasingly complicated sorcery. Micah would lead the excision, given that he was the most skilled, but as with other strong magic, more than one sorcerer was needed.

“Okay, so what should I do?” Adora asked, feeling that things were starting to go over her head.

“You don’t have to do anything, Adora,” Glimmer replied, “we’ll be practising all week to make sure we get it right. All you need to do is rest and gather your strength.”

Adora squirmed. She wasn’t used to inaction.

“Can’t She-ra give some of her magic or something? Or read some First Ones texts? Is there a password I have to crack?”

Castapella put a hand on Glimmers shoulders, smiling kindly, “Adora, we’ve got this.”

“We would need the help of the alliance, though,” Glimmer addressed the table, “When Etheria’s magic is released from the failsafe it will return to the runestones, the princesses shall be responsible for ensuring the magic flows stably back without too much leakage.”

“Uh, right. Got it,” Scorpia nodded seriously, although she looked a bit uncertain of her control over the Black Garnet.

“I’ll be with you, you’ll be fine,” Perfuma encouraged her.

“Catra,” Glimmer looked at the magicat, “you can hold the sword.”

Catra’s fur stood on ends.

“Sorry, what?”

“All you need to do is hold the sword steady. We’ll handle the magic going into it,” Micah explained, waving his hands to let a stream of sparkles flow into the runestone of She-ra’s sword on the table, as a demonstration. The sword vibrated.

Catra didn’t really want to do that, she wanted to be by Adora’s side!

“Can’t Arrow Boy and his Etherian Makers Community of Nerds build a stand for the sword, or something?”

“Hey!” Bow exclaimed.

“Just like how Adora had to be a willing soul to accept the failsafe, everyone involved now has to _want_ the magic released from the failsafe,” Glimmer explained, “No physical restraint will work on keeping the sword in place.”

Catra eyed the sword, still not very comfortable with touching it. But she nodded with resolve, knowing if anybody was going to want _less_ magic in Adora, it would be her. She was the ideal choice for this.

“Can’t I hold the sword?” Adora asked.

“You’ll be unconscious,” Bow announced.

“What? Why?” Adora squirmed even more.

As if doing nothing was bad enough. Now she would have absolutely no control.

“So much magic coming out would hurt, Adora,” Castapella explained gently.

“I can take it. The failsafe hurt when I accepted it too.”

Adora could feel Catra’s claws digging into her thigh at that confession.

“And that was already without magic from the heart, dear,” Castapella replied.

“I want to know what’s happening.”

“Adora,” Catra cut in, “Please.”

So much was conveyed in that one word. Catra stared her down, pleading with her to trust them. Who knew the day would come when _Catra_ would be convincing her to lay her life in the hands of the Princess Alliance?

No one was going to hurt her. No one _needed_ her. She could just step back, relax for once, and let others help her, for a change.

Adora looked at the people around the table, all looking at her with care and concern for her.

From the sounds of it, Glimmer would be practising for _days_ with her dad and aunt. Entrapta hadn’t said anything yet, but she was busy tinkering away at the corner of the room. Adora knew she hadn’t slept much for the past week in the leadup to the surgery. It was mentioned earlier in the briefing that people in Mystacor, Brightmoon, Salineas, Plumeria, even the Kingdom of Snows, were preparing various retreats for her to take advantage of the healing properties of each Kingdom post-surgery.

It was overwhelming to think about, and her hands felt clammy as the back of her neck flushed hot. Was she worth all this worry she was causing for others?

In a strange moment of unity, Glimmer and Catra saw her worrying and said, somehow, at the same time, “Let us do this.”

Catra and Glimmer exchanged a surprised glance, before giving each other a grudging smile for finally being on the same page.

“Deep breaths, Adora,” Perfuma chimed in, “You have nothing to worry about. We want you well, and happy, with us. For a long time.”

“Ugh, I invited you, not She-ra, to my wedding, so could you like, not be difficult about this? Just sit back and let us bring back Adora,” Mermista muttered, even as she blushed lightly, reflecting her true feelings, “it’s rude for She-ra to show up at a wedding in white, you know.”

Frosta slammed a fist into her palm, “Yeah Adora, we’re gonna knock that bad boy out of your chest, leave it to us.”

Adora could feel She-ra’s eyes burn with tears. She never dreamt she could feel this _loved_ in her life, all for being herself, nothing to do with what she could offer. She gripped Catra’s hand under the table to ground herself.

Rendered speechless, all she could do was nod back at everyone.

* * *

Oblivious to the emotional scene going on, Wrong Hordak suddenly exclaimed, “you did it, Brother!”

A pink diamond-shaped First One tech clattered off Hordak’s chest and landed on the ground.

“Ooh, I didn’t expect it to work!” Entrapta gasped in glee.

“You didn’t?” Hordak grunted, slightly alarmed.

They all turned to the corner of the room where Entrapta, Emily, Hordak and Wrong Hordak were huddled together.

Bow cleared his throat.

“Entrapta, perhaps we should move on to the tech presentation now?”

Entrapta spun round, finally registering the large crowd looking at her.

“Just in time, Bow! After trial thirty-two, I think I’ve successfully inserted and removed First Ones tech with minimal trauma to the host! One less risk to present to Adora.”

Hordak grimaced in the background. Adora and Catra exchanged a bemused look at the thought that their formidable ex-commanding officer had just endured thirty-two rounds of experimental surgery to impress a girl.

“Umm that’s great…?” Bow laughed nervously, “Floor’s all yours, Entrapta.”

“Alright,” Entrapta scooted over to the meeting table as Emily whirred and projected some slides into the centre.

“Now, we know what’s _inside_ the failsafe is pure magic, so that’s what I assume you guys had been talking about earlier, but the receptable itself is First Ones Tech. _Fascinating_ First Ones Tech, if I may say so. I wish I could leave it as it is to study it further!”

“Entrapta…” Bow warned.

“I know, I know,” Entrapta used a lock of hair to wave Bow off, “I can’t and I won’t. Once the magic leaves the receptacle, the tech becomes very unstable. It needs magic and if it can’t find and external source, it will steal She-ra’s from inside Adora. So once Micah and the princesses have done their bit, Hordak and I are going to deactivate and remove it.”

“Wait, Hordak?” Catra interrupted, crossing her arms, “No.”

Everyone fell silent and stared at Catra, before shifting their glance over to Adora to gauge her opinion.

Adora shifted uncomfortably in her seat. To be honest, she didn’t know what to think about this. Unlike Catra, she never _hated_ Hordak, never _hated_ anyone, really. It just wasn’t her nature. Prime was the only one close to facing the wrath of Adora’s hatred, and even then, it was more fury and disgust and a desire to protect the ones she did love, more so than pure hatred for him. So she didn’t have an opinion about who Entrapta wanted on the team. She was having a hard enough time accepting people were doing things for her, as it is.

“Umm,” Adora swallowed, “I… I guess…”

“Adora,” Hordak spoke, “I know you may have reservations. Valid reservations. But you have granted me mercy in the past. And you have freed my brothers and me. I want to do this for you. Please.”

“He’s my lab partner,” Entrapta said simply, looking uncomfortable at the judgement from the princesses. The judgement from her friends.

Adora couldn’t have Entrapta feeling lesser for who she loved, so she replied with more confidence, “He is your lab partner indeed. It’s fine. Thank you, Hordak.”

“What? Adora-”

“Catra, I said it’s fine.”

Catra bit back the rest of her retort, respecting Adora’s wishes.

“Fine. If Adora’s fine with it, I am too,” Catra stared daggers at Hordak, “but I’ll be watching you. I don’t have much to do, I’m just holding a sword. So, I’ll be watching you.”

Adora wanted to laugh, Catra all protective and angry with her fur all fluffed up was adorable, but she would never say it out loud, unless she wanted a claw to the face. So Adora merely placed She-ra’s hand on Catra’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze to calm her down.

“Deactivating and removing the failsafe tech will be technical,” Entrapta continued as though there was no interruption, her eyes shimmered in awe at her next part, “and dangerous.”

She cackled, before clicking to the next slide.

“By no means comprehensive, but these are all the potential side effects and risks I can think of post-surgery.”

Entrapta took a deep breath, before rattling off everything on the slide.

“Bleeding, infection, scarring, pain, nausea, giddiness, vomiting, palpitations, electrical burns, rib fracture, muscle sprain, poor healing, weakness, numbness, paralysis maybe, prolonged recovery, seizures, potentially, cardiac arrest, even death! And this is for Adora, only actual experimentation will tell us what will happen to She-ra too!”

Another long silence followed the conclusion of Entrapta’s presentation.

Adora felt dizzy. Wait, wasn’t that one of the side effects? She couldn’t remember. There were so many. She swallowed, her eyes fixing on the slides as she read through all the words herself again, slowly. Her vision was narrowing.

Oh gods.

“Ow! Adora, that hurts!”

With some difficulty Catra unclasped She-ra’s iron grip on her shoulder.

“Adora…?” Catra’s tone turned concerned as she saw Adora spiralling into her own head, She-ra’s bright blue eyes glossy and unfocused, and shining with tears.

“Excuse me, gotta go,” She-ra mumbled, before stumbling out of her chair clumsily and bolting for the door.

“Adora!” Glimmer called out.

Adora wanted to vomit. She realised with some alarm what this feeling was. Fear. _And cowardice_ , a voice added, sounding suspiciously like Shadow Weaver. With some shock she realised she was afraid of death. For the first time, in fact. Because, well, wasn’t the whole _point_ of this surgery to avoid death? For once in her life she had let herself _want_ a future for herself and the prospect of finally reaching it felt so _wonderful_ she could not have it yanked from under her feet now!

This was why it was _never_ okay to want. This was why it was better to do as she was told. Just follow orders. Do her best. Work for the happiness of others. It left oneself free from the possibility of such pain and disappointment.

“Adora!” someone was shouting from behind her.

Why was she still in the conference room? With some focus she realised she was on all fours, now crawling and stumbling towards the door. When did she fall? Why were her limbs so heavy?

 _Paralysis_. A suffering worse than death. What would she do if she _couldn’t_ do anything? What did she have to offer?

Her vision blurred, her chest burned, and breathing became harder again. _Shit._ She looked at her small hands holding herself up on the floor and realised her fear had reduced her back to Adora.

“Adora!” More people gasped.

Lots of shadows were covering her as they clambered over.

The pain of the failsafe was roaring back with a vengeance now that She-ra was gone.

“For… for the… honor…”

She-ra wouldn’t come. She-ra does not come to the fearful and the weak.

Adora collapsed to the floor, quite literally bowling over from the pain and the fear. The failsafe surged and she cried out, _feeling_ the glitch more than seeing it happen to herself.

It was over.

What a disgraceful way to go. All for the pursuit of selfish desires.

“Adora!”

A furred arm scooped her from below, and she felt herself cradled to the softest, warmest, most familiar form.

She squinted and Catra came into view.

“Adora… what’s happening?!” Catra was crying now.

It hurt to see Catra cry. It was the worst thing to see before death. How it could happen twice, Adora had no clue and hated it.

“Catra…”

“There’s no time to waste,” Adora heard Micah faintly in the distance, registering vaguely that someone was taking her pulse at her wrist, “if she can’t become She-ra now, we have to remove the Failsafe immediately.”

“What?” Catra cried, clutching Adora closer to her chest defensively, “but you said you needed a week to practise!”

“We have no choice.”

“We’re ready, Adora, trust us,” Adora heard Glimmer call out, sounding determined.

Trust her. Trust _them_. Of course, she would. Glimmer, the princess, Catra, all of them. Her friends. Her _family_. She would trust them with her life. Now, it looked like she had to.

“I’m going to put you under anaesthesia, Adora,” Entrapta announced, and she felt some people prepping her forearm.

Adora nuzzled into Catra, feeling the stuttering and hammering heartbeat of the magicat against her ear. Catra was terrified. So Adora _had_ to be strong for her. With all the strength she could muster, Adora nodded, hoping it was enough to let Entrapta know to proceed.

It must have been enough, because in the next moment she felt something cool shooting through her veins.

It was getting harder to stay conscious now. She was so close to the end

“Catra…” Adora suddenly whimpered, a new wave of fear unexpectedly washing over her.

Against her better judgement she fought to stay awake. If this was really over for her, she wanted to spend one more moment looking at the love of her life.

“She’s fighting it!” Entrapta cried out, “What should we do, Hordak?”

Catra heard Entrapta and turned to look back down at Adora in her arms. Tears were following freely from her eyes now. She ran a claw delicately down the side of Adora’s face.

“Adora…” Catra’s voice had never been this gentle, her fear not showing in her tone in the slightest, “it’s okay… you’re okay…”

The soft pad of Catra’s thumb rubbed against Adora’s cheek.

“Let go.”

And Adora’s final thought before she obeyed and blacked out was that she never thought she would hear Catra say those two words to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Multiple scenes of different moments with unexpected words from Catra, leading up to Adora going into surgery! Yikes…and with that we’re done with part 1! On to Part 2!
> 
> While we have now crashed into a surgery scenario where Adora had to go for it or she would die, but with the whole of Part 1 it was extremely important to me that Adora made the decision to choose herself and choose the surgery when she was still healthy and well, and she didn't have to do it. For character growth.
> 
> Prompt for this chapter: "Entrapta attempting to assure her by getting technical and telling her some of the risks offhandedly, like the risk of localized nerve or brain damage or something and Adora just looking like everything she just heard has made her 100% more unprepared"
> 
> From the wonderful mind of @Jellykit
> 
> Thanks everyone and a Happy New Year!
> 
> Cheers,  
> Blackthorn.


	7. Horde habits die hard

“Catra,” Bow’s gentle voice broke through her laser-focus on Adora, “It’s time.”

Catra felt gentle hands start to pry Adora out of her arms. With all the courage she could muster, she relaxed her hold and let the rest take Adora out of her arms.

They were in Brightmoon’s operation theatre now, and she climbed off the surgical table so Bow, Entrapta, Hordak and Wrong Hordak could begin attaching Adora to the numerous monitoring equipments around the room.

“Be careful!” Catra snarled at Wrong Hordak, who yelped and dropped a scalpel.

“Catra, we’ve got this,” Bow soothed.

“You ready?” Micah approached, handing the sword to her.

Catra gripped the sword tightly.

She couldn’t help but blurt out, “You sure you know what you’re doing?”

Micah smiled, squeezing her shoulders, “There is not a book on sorcery in all of Mystacor that I have not read. I am sure.”

Catra looked up at him, the kind smile so reminiscent of Glimmer’s.

“I will look after your love.”

In that moment a sudden rush of guilt flooded through Catra, with the thought that she couldn’t return the favour. Worst still, she had been responsible for the loss of the love of his life.

“Micah, I…” she didn’t know what to say; was it a plea, gratitude or an apology, that she wanted to express?

“Keep your focus now,” was all Micah said, giving her arms a shake.

Catra stepped back, allowing Micah to pass to head to the table where the tech crew were prepping for him. Castapella soon joined him.

Glimmer teleported into the theatre.

“Problem,” she panted, resting her hands on her knees, “the runestones. I can’t teleport them all to Brightmoon all at once. It’s too much. I was going to do them one per day.”

Everyone tensed, wondering what to do now. Rushing into emergency surgery was not part of the plan.

“I’m going to have to teleport the princesses back to their kingdoms instead,” Glimmer suggested.

Micah nodded, “Everyone’s going to need to be more focused now, since we will be directing magic over a long distance.”

“Uh. Right. So, wait. So, uh,” Scorpia stammered, “So I guess I’m going to the Fright Zone.”

She scratched her head with a claw, “… And I guess I will be alone, right? Perfuma’s got to go back to Plumeria.”

“Scorpia,” Perfuma said, “You will be great, I have faith in you.”

Catra looked between Adora and Scorpia. She wanted so, so, badly to stay here, in part to “keep an eye” on Hordak, but really just to be by Adora’s side through it all.

But Scorpia looked terrified. She was still very new when it came to using her magic, and she looked like she really didn’t want to be alone while doing something so important.

“Scorpia, I’ll come with you,” Catra offered.

“Wha-what?” Scorpia stuttered in shock.

Catra waved the sword, “The runestone I’m in charge of is sorta portable. Everyone else has stuff to do here. I’ll come with you. We’ll figure it out together.”

“And Adora?” Scorpia probed, still stunned.

They both turned to look at the surgical table. Adora was barely visible now, in the center of the circle of people fussing over her.

“Adora will be fine,” Catra said, sounding unconvincing even to herself, but she nodded resolutely, “Come on, let’s go find Glimmer. We’re going to the Fright Zone.”

* * *

Glimmer teleported Scorpia and Catra to the Fright Zone, right back to the Black Garnet Quarters, a half-demolished room that still looked way too terrifyingly familiar to Catra. A shiver ran through her fur at the memory of the years she had spent being tormented by a multitude of shadows in this very room.

Glimmer turned, about to teleport away to continue transporting the rest of the princesses home when Catra grabbed her wrist.

“Wait,” Catra said at the last second.

Glimmer paused and looked back at Catra curiously.

Catra teetered on the spot for a bit, before pulling Glimmer into a hug, desperate and tight.

“Take care of her, Sparkles.”

Glimmer’s squeak of surprise turned into a laugh at the old line and she squeezed Catra back, “That’s the plan, Horde Scum.”

* * *

Scorpia and Catra waited in silence for the procedure to start back in Brightmoon. Catra couldn’t stop fidgeting, her mind running a thousand miles a second wondering if Adora was okay.

“Hey,” Scorpia bumped her shoulder with hers, “Thanks. Thanks for being here with me. It means a lot.”

Catra continued to fidget with the sword, looking ahead to avoid Scorpia’s gaze, “Yeah, well. I would freak out too if I were you. Magic is scary. At least, that’s what we were taught growing up.”

“Yeah, but I know how badly you want to be with Adora right now. So, thank you.”

Catra could feel Scorpia smiling down at her.

“You’re a good friend, Wildcat. Or at least you’re becoming one.”

Catra gulped, feeling like she didn’t quite deserve the kindness of a friend she had often mistreated and betrayed.

Eventually, she said, very quietly, “Thanks, Scorpia. You have no idea how important that is to me, coming from you.”

* * *

It had begun.

They could tell, because part of the sky in Brightmoon’s direction had lit up, the rays bursting through the half torn ceiling of their dilapidated room. Immediately, two rays of magic bent and shot towards them, aiming for the Black Garnet and the sword.

“Just another Horde mission, yeah?” Catra psyched the both of them up, “stick to the plan. You direct magic back to the stone. I hold the sword steady.”

“Got it. Stick to the plan,” Scorpia nodded, “Just another Horde mission.”

The rays of magic were more forceful than either of them had expected. The moment one of them made contact with the sword, Catra was blown back, feeling herself slam hard against Scorpia’s back as Scorpia too was thrown backwards from the Black Garnet.

Catra gripped the sword, which was now vibrating so furiously it was starting to get hot.

“Do not let go of the sword!” Scorpia yelled.

Catra could feel Scorpia’s muscly frame tensing against her as the princess used all her strength to wrangle the magic into the Black Garnet.

“Fuck! How is so much magic in Adora?!” Catra complained.

The sword was burning now, and the smell of singed fur from her palms was filling the air.

“Wildcat!” Scorpia smelt it too, “You okay?”

Scorpia made to turn behind to look at Catra.

“Eyes on the Black Garnet!” Catra snapped, gritting her teeth as she remained steadfast in holding the sword.

Catra was familiar with all manners of burns. Electrical burns, steam burns, oil burns… they were all part and parcel of fighting and manning machinery in the Horde. Not to mention, Shadow Weaver was a sadistic bitch. But this. This was another level of pain. Because Catra could not run away, she had to stay. She had to _want_ the magic to continue coming her way for any of this to work.

“FUCKKK!” She let out, even as she gripped the hilt even tighter to hold the humming sword steady.

“We’re near the end,” Scorpia encouraged, “I can feel it in the magic.”

“You better be right!”

The force of the ray pushing into the sword was lightening. Eventually, the light died down as the magic faded away, leaving the both of them in almost total darkness, except for a faint glow emitting from the Black Garnet and the Sword.

Catra dropped the sword with a clatter, and the two of them slumped down to the floor, backs still leaning against each other, panting.

“How are your hands?” Scorpia asked.

Catra studied her palms, blinking a few times to adjust to the darkness first. They were red and raw, the fur burnt completely off to review angry, blistering skin.

“It’s alright. She-ra will heal it right…” Catra faltered, realising the flaw in her thought process.

She-ra wasn’t with them at the moment. In fact, she might not be with them for who knows how long.

“I’ll get some bandages when we get back,” Catra corrected herself, beginning to lick gently at her palms, soothing them the way she used to as a frequently-injured kitten in the Horde.

“Some Horde mission, amirite?” Scorpia sighed.

Catra laughed.

“Some Horde mission indeed.”

She leaned back so her head rested on Scorpia’s. It was good to have an old friend back.

* * *

Catra was almost dozing off in exhaustion when Glimmer burst forth in front of her eyes. Catra sat bolt upright immediately. The plan was to wait at least a couple of hours for the tech people to get their part done before Glimmer left to retrieve the princesses. If Glimmer was early, it could only mean one thing – something had gone terribly wrong.

“Catra!” Glimmer exclaimed the moment she landed.

She had tears in her eyes.

_No._

“Glimmer…?”

“No time to explain. Come.”

Glimmer grabbed her and Scorpia, and before she knew what happened, her stomach was in her mouth as Glimmer pulled them into a teleport.

They landed in the theatre, and Catra blinked in the sudden brightness, squinting to find Adora.

The whole place was bustling with activity, a frantic energy pervading the room. This did not bode well.

“What’s happening?”

“Prime’s virus,” it was Hordak who answered Catra, huddled over the table and hiding Adora from view, “It’s in the failsafe,”

“What?” Catra gasped.

“In the Heart. Adora was attacked by Prime’s virus, wasn’t she?” Bow questioned.

Catra nodded.

“Well, a tiny bit hacked into the failsafe,” Bow said, “and now after we’ve opened the failsafe up, the virus is ravaging Adora.”

“The failsafe is designed to preserve any and all magic and tech it encounters,” Entrapta added, “I should have known it would have kept the virus!”

Entrapta, for once, sounded lost, banging her head with one of her tools. Bow took the tool away hurriedly and ran a hand down her back to comfort her.

“What is going to happen now?” Catra was near tears.

“I may have a solution,” Hordak explained, turning to face Catra, “a solution you may be familiar with.”

As Hordak turned, Catra caught sight of the cannister of fluid in his hand. A cannister of green, glowing, sinister-looking fluid.

A chill ran up Catra’s spine.

“No.”

“Catra, you know what this is. We both do.”

“Fuck you, Hordak!” Catra spat, “How do you even know how to make that?”

“My brothers and I found the formula in Prime’s logs.”

“With my permission,” Glimmer added, trying to calm Catra with a hand on her shoulder, “it’s all above board and monitored cloesly.”

“It will cast out the virus. Wipe out all the tech in the failsafe. It’s the only way we can think of at this moment.”

Catra sought out Entrapta.

Entrapta nodded at her, “This isn’t First Ones tech, Catra. It’s more advanced. The methods I have been studying will not work on the virus.”

“And Adora? What is going to happen to her?”

“I’ve watered it down. It isn’t like Prime’s pool,” Hordak explained, “it should be just enough for the virus. But still, there is so much unknown. Glimmer brought you back just in case.”

“In case what?”

No one wanted to answer her at first.

“In case what?”

Glimmer merely laced her hand in Catra’s, leading her forwards towards the table. The crew parted to let Catra pass.

Catra understood.

She was to say her goodbyes to Adora. Just in case.

Catra let go of Glimmer, kneeling down at the head of the bed so she could cradle Adora’s face in her palms. She didn’t feel the pain as her raw, blistering, flesh made contact with Adora. Instead, Adora’s skin felt ice cold.

Adora looked _so_ pale, almost white under the harsh, bright light above them. Her eyes were closed and her features relaxed, almost as though she was merely in a deep, peaceful sleep.

“Adora…” Catra’s voice cracked, the tears streaming down her face.

She could hear the sniffs of the people around her. This was all a mistake. She had been selfish. She didn’t want She-ra, and now she was going to lose Adora.

“Adora, this isn’t over, right? It can’t be. You promised to stay.”

“Catra…” Glimmer said, voice watery from her own tears, “we don’t have much time.”

Catra nodded, more to herself than to the rest, understanding what Glimmer meant. There was no time for rage, or denial, or begging. She had to accept it and say what she wanted to say to Adora before it was too late.

She dipped down and kissed Adora on the forehead, murmuring against her in a voice so soft that it was only meant for Adora, “I love you.”

That was enough. There was nothing else Catra needed to say. Those three words encompassed everything that Adora had ever meant to her.

Eventually, with a deep breath, Catra pulled back, closing her eyes so she didn’t have to look at the pale _,_ almost _lifeless_ Adora.

She nodded once, recognising the only way forward.

“Do it.”

The tech crew exchanged glances with each other, nodding determinedly before whirring back into action.

Catra’s eyes remained fixed on the green fluid, now in a bag, as it was connected to the plug running into Adora’s veins. The fluid surged forth and flowed through the tubing and into Adora.

Immediately, the room exploded in a cacophony or uncoordinated beeping, as Adora’s vital signs went into disarray.

Entrapta and Bow began barking orders, as the crew continued to attach and detach various cannisters and tubes to the complicated contraptions surrounding Adora.

And then there was silence.

It was the longest silence in Catra’s life.

A deafening beep began to fill the room, the monotone dragging on and on.

_It was over._

Catra felt empty, too far gone for sadness at that point, as she collapsed back down to rest her forehead against Adora’s, feeling the sobs starting to rack through her chest.

“Catra…”

Someone was tugging at her shoulders to pull her away.

“Catra! Entrapta said to clear away!” Scorpia yanked Catra off of Adora.

Just in time, apparently, because the next thing Catra saw was Entrapta charging towards Adora with two sparking electrical pads.

“What the-?” Catra exclaimed.

Entrapta jabbed the pads into the sides of Adora’s torso, causing Adora’s entire frame to jerk off the table.

“ENTRAPTA!” Catra yelled, horrified at the violence.

She surged forwards, feeling her feet leave the floor as Scorpia scooped her into her arms.

“Stay away, Wildcat!”

“LET ME GO!”

“Let her do her thing!” Scorpia pleaded.

“Turn it up, Hordak!” Entrapta commanded.

Hordak adjusted the knob on one of the machines, and Entrapta jabbed the pads against Adora once more.

Adora surged off the table with more force.

“THEY’RE ELECTROCUTING HER!” Catra yelled, squirming and kicking at Scorpia to no avail, as Scorpia continued to hold her out of harm’s way.

This was all horribly reminiscent of Prime’s favourite cocktail of green liquids and electricity.

“Resuscitating,” Bow called back to Catra, even as his eyes never left the monitors as he furiously recorded Adora’s fluctuating vitals, “we are resuscitating her.”

One more jab of the pads and Entrapta backed off, eyes trained on the monitors as well.

The tech crew seemed to be waiting for something with bated breath.

The dreadful monotone beep was still punctuating the air.

And then, it paused.

Silence.

Before,

*Beep*

And another one.

*Beep*

*Beep*

*Beep*

And lots more after that, at a steady, reassuring rhythm.

The tech crew cheered, jumping up and down to hug each other.

“What? What? What is it?” Catra pleaded, “Scorpia would you please put me down now!” 

Catra was released and then pulled into another hug, this time from Glimmer.

“We did it, Catra!” Glimmer finally explained, “That’s her heartbeat."

"Adora is back.”

* * *

Catra watched by the door as Entrapta made the final adjustments to the numerous tubings attached to Adora.

Adora had been moved to a room in the intensive care wing, and Entrapta was transferring all the life support equipment over to the ones set up in the room.

Catra gave Adora a once-over, her heart aching at seeing Adora like this.

A mask was fitted over her nose and mouth, helping her breath. A huge metallic exoskeleton was fixed over her chest to cover the site of the excision, monitoring the parameters there and supplying the area with healing supplements. Whatever that Catra could see of Adora’s torso was covered in bandages.

What was left of the failsafe glowed above Adora’s chest, still.

Catra had asked why it was still there, Entrapta and Bow explained that because of the virus, it was safer to leave the deactivated shell in, as probing it further might release more virus. Instead, an IV was now running through Adora’s hand, pumping a diluted formulation of Prime’s tech liquid into her to cleanse the remaining virus gradually. According to the tech crew, the only long-term side effect to this change in plan would be a failsafe scar on Adora’s chest.

Catra could live with that.

She was just glad Adora was still with them. After everything.

Entrapta plugged one of the tubes running out of Adora’s chest exoskeleton into Emily, petting the robot on her head.

“You’ll tell me if any of the readings are amiss, alright?”

Emily beeped in agreement.

“Good girl.”

Entrapta padded out of the room.

“Coming, Catra?”

She paused outside the door when she realised Catra didn’t follow.

“Umm…” Catra hugged herself, “is it okay if I stay here? With Adora?”

Entrapta looked at her, perplexed.

“You should get some rest, Catra. We all should. Probably should get your palms taken care of too, at the sick bay.”

“Yeah, later, maybe. But I’d like to stay. If it’s alright with you.”

“Why? Aren’t you exhausted?”

Catra didn’t know how to reply Entrapta, the answer should have been so obvious and yet Catra could not figure out how to express her feelings to explain it to Entrapta.

She just couldn’t leave Adora. Not like this. Only Entrapta would think to question it.

Eventually, Entrapta shrugged.

“Oh well, your call. But don’t touch anything okay?”

And with that, Entrapta walked away, leaving Catra to it.

* * *

All her life, Catra had never had a peaceful night sleeping apart from Adora. She thought back to the time after Adora left the Horde, and how the years were plagued with endless nights filled with fitful, restless sleep and recurring nightmares.

The first time in three years that she had settled into a dreamless sleep was when she was back in Adora’s arms, that fateful night on Mara’s ship, after Adora, _finally_ , came back for her.

So it was no surprise that she couldn’t sleep tonight, perched on the edge of the chair in the corner of Adora’s room, watching Adora carefully.

Nothing had changed, which was reassuring and unsettling in equal measure. Adora lay motionless, the machines doing more than she was to help help her breath. But at least the numbers on the screens were stable and the beeping in the room was constant. Emily had settled into sleep mode, unperturbed by the vital signs she was collecting.

Catra felt restless, after everything that had happened, all she wanted was to lie beside Adora and feel that reassuring, solid, warmth engulf her and make her feel safe. It was painful to see Adora this helpless, this weak. The last time Adora had been so near death, Catra was there with her too, and Catra never thought she would be facing such a situation again so soon.

But this time, it was different. There was going to be a future after this, a light at the end of the tunnel. Adora would wake up. With time, she would get better, get stronger. And then, their time together could begin again. For the third time. Catra would go through how ever many beginnings it would take, again and again, to reach that happy ending with Adora.

Just as long as she didn’t have to spend another moment apart from Adora.

With that thought, she climbed gingerly onto Adora’s bed, careful to heed Entrapta’s warning and _not touch anything_. Just like old times, she settled at the foot of Adora’s bed, curling against herself, resting her head against her still-stinging palms, and heaved a sigh of relief.

With Adora’s cold feet prodding into her back like it used to do all those years ago, Catra felt her hammering heart settle down for the first time in days, and she felt sleep finally come to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was going to time-jump to post-surgery initially, until @silck's two comments prompted me to think about what could happen during surgery HAHAHA  
> More scenes therefore added, for d r a m a
> 
> And also, S C A R (another @silck idea)
> 
> Included some Scorpia and Catra moments, because my pure baby Scorpia deserves that.
> 
> Edit: ALSO, complications mid surgery and Catra comforting an unconscious Adora, courtesy of @Ikaas! Thank you, I hope you see this, so sorry for adding this as an edit to the author's notes. Maybe, if I can think of something, I hope to address this prompt again when Adora wakes. 
> 
> Lastly, Catra curling at the foot of the bed from Season 1 was one of the first Hurt/Comfort scenes I came up for this fic, props to @Superamy777 for suggesting it as a prompt too! 
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading! <3


	8. Waking Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Life has been a little overwhelming. Updates might be slower and sporadic moving forward, but I really love this story and am working at it a little at a time. Thanks so much for your patience!
> 
> 3 prompts today! Listed at the end of the chapter to not spoil the plot for the prompt-suggestors as well.
> 
> Thank you!

Adora awoke to a pounding headache that forced her to close her eyes again.

_What’s happening? Where am I?_

She frowned and forced herself to focus, trying to drown out the pain so she could figure out her situation. This was a familiar exercise, something she learnt to do with all the beatings and the fights and the concussions she experienced throughout the course of her life.

As the throb in her head faded to the background through sheer willpower, Adora zoned in on the rest of her senses.

A blinding bright light when she opened her eyes. She closed them again immediately as the fluorescent brightness worsened her headache. Not daylight, she gathered, so she was indoors. Somewhere with a white ceiling.

A constant, mechanical, beeping. Like what she used to hear in the sick bay at the Horde.

A soft mattress beneath her. Cushy and enveloping her like a hug. Welcoming. Comfortable. Which meant she definitely wasn’t in the Horde.

But.

At her feet, a familiar warmth. One she had not felt for _years._ One she associated with the only happy feelings she remembered of the Horde.

The warmth heaved, its fluffy surface pushing up into the soles of her feet. A hum of vibrations, almost like a purr. And then an exhale, drawing away until only Adora’s toes were in contact with the ends of its fur.

_Catra._

The feel of Catra brought everything back with a rush and she forced her eyes open again, knowing now where she was and what had happened.

_She survived._

Adora wanted to call out to the magicat, except her jaw was clamped shut by some kind of metallic mask. She realised it was pumping air in and out of her lungs. She tried to fight against it to no avail.

A hint of panic surged through her at the realisation. Why did she need help breathing?

A tail flicking lazily against her calf, bringing her out of the spiral immediately.

_Catra._

The only thing centering her at present. Adora curled her toes at Catra’s next inhale, trying to dig into the softness, but the feel of Catra receded steadily as Catra breathed out and Adora realised her toes had not moved.

Her eyes widened as her pulse raced, the true extent of her situation dawning upon her. She tried to raise a hand to pull the mask of her but could not feel her arm moving. She tried again to nudge her feet at Catra but nothing happened.

The monotone beeping in the room had picked up. It was rising in rate and volume in tandem with Adora’s increasing panic, and Adora realised it was her heartrate.

She was trapped in her own body.

The realisation only served to freak her out further and a cacophony of beeps started to ring all around her.

The warmth at her feet disappeared as she felt the mattress shift, before a pair of heterochromatic eyes popped up in her line of sight.

“Adora? You’re awake!”

_Catra!_

Adora was desperate now with the urge to call out to her, but masked or not it didn’t even seem like her voice box was obeying her.

_Catra!_

And not even a whine or a cry escaped her. The beeping in the room surged.

Catra’s brows furrowed with worry as she cradled Adora’s face in the palms of her hands.

“Adora, what’s going on?”

Adora could do nothing but search Catra’s eyes for solace.

“Adora, talk to me! What’s happening?”

Adora wanted to scream. Her chest constricted with fear, but air was relentlessly forced in and out of her lungs, ignorant of her panic.

An alarm blared and the robot by her side whirred to life.

“Emily- why isn’t Adora… Get Entrapta!” Adora heard Catra call out to the robot.

A few beeps in acknowledgment and Catra’s attention was back on Adora.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” Catra assured her.

Adora remembered that that was also one of the last things she heard from Catra before she was knocked out and she wanted to believe it again, but how could any of this be okay?!

This. This was Adora’s worst fear realised. _Paralysis._ Entrapta had warned her pre-surgery. And now it was happening. Of course it would happen to her.

She wanted to yell, wanted to surge forth, wanted to get the hell out of bed and pull Catra into an embrace, but it was like her body was dead.

She felt stuck, suffocated by her own self.

The beep of the heart monitor was so loud and incessantly quick it was starting to blend into one continuous sound.

Catra glanced briefly towards the screens before her eyes flitted back to Adora’s, her expression hard, revealing nothing about what she saw about Adora’s condition on those machines.

“I’ve got you.”

In the face of her rising panic, Catra’s voice seemed so sure. When nothing was certain and Adora feared the worst, Catra’s feigned confidence grounded her.

The beeping slowed as Catra pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“That’s it, Adora. Breathe for me.”

She wasn’t doing the breathing, but Catra’s words let her pretend. She focused on the rhythmic pumping of air in and out of her body, feeling the tightness in her chest ease slightly.

“She’s awake!” a voice from the door called.

Catra spun round, addressing the new visitor.

“Entrapta. Please. What’s happening to Adora?”

When Catra’s words were not directed at Adora, Adora could hear the fear in her voice too, and Adora wanted nothing more than to grip her hand in hers to assure her.

“She shouldn’t be awake,” Bow replied, sounding equal parts puzzled and worried, “Entrapta and I gave her a sedative.”

“A sedative that paralysed her?!” Catra exclaimed, asking aloud what Adora was wondering.

“It’s not the sedative. The electric current released by the failsafe tech paralysed her muscles,” Entrapta said, unable to hide a bit of her awe at the power of First Ones technology.

The blood ran cold in Adora’s veins at the horrifying revelation. She could feel Catra’s claws bite into her arm with fear.

“But according to Adora’s latest labs we believe it’s temporary. Her strength will return with time,” Bow added, “the sedative was so she wouldn’t have to be awake to experience this. It helps with pain control too.”

“Yes,” Entrapta continued, “but the effect must have worn off slightly because she’s awake! I’m going to give her more.”

The beeping picked up again and everyone turned to Adora.

_No. Please, no._ Adora wanted to beg.

Three pairs of eyes looked down at her with worry, trying to read her expression.

“Adora, are you in pain right now?”

_No. Just no more sedatives, please!_ Adora wanted to call back. She wanted to be present, to be here, to know what was happening to her.

“Blink once for yes and twice for no.”

Blink blink.

“That’s good, it means the drugs are still working,” Bow explained gently, “Don’t be scared, okay? We’re just going to up the dose so you’re more comfortable. You’ll fall into a deep sleep until you are more healed.”

_No!!_

Adora didn’t care about the pain post-surgery. She could handle pain. What she couldn’t bear was facing the dark unknown of unconsciousness again. There was only one other time she had felt this engulfed in blackness and she had been near dying in her lover’s arms back then, as the world burned around her. It was a horrible feeling.

_Please._

But Bow and Entrapta had turned away, preparing the medications.

_Please. No. Don’t knock me out again._

She remembered the fear that had threatened to overwhelm her the last time Entrapta had given her the anaesthesia, right before she work up in this hell. How the fight against the oppressive sleepiness seemed futile, how the crushing darkness narrowed her vision until all she could see of the Brightmoon meeting room was Catra above her, around her, cupping her face in her hand as she had told her to let go.

She remembered The Heart, when the sense of defeat was too much that succumbing seemed almost like a relief, even as the powerlessness terrified her. 

She couldn’t go through all that again. Who knew what fresh horror she was going to wake up to after this?

The room continued to bustle with activity as Bow and Entrapta discussed the technicalities of administering more anaesthesia.

“Twenty?” Entrapta asked.

“Let’s do ten. And then we can work her up to more if it doesn’t work.”

It was like she wasn’t even in the room. Tears started to burn at her eyes and she felt them stream down her face.

“Adora?”

Her eyes met with Catra’s. Of course, Catra had caught her silently crying. Catra wiped away Adora’s tears with a thumb, the touch as tender as a caress.

“Adora, I’ll be with you all the time. You don’t have to worry. Just rest. You need it.”

_Please. I don’t want it. It feels too much like The Heart. Let me stay. With you. Like I promised. Please._

More tears streamed down, her eyes the only thing in her control at the moment. She blinked twice.

_No._

Catra frowned, trying to figure Adora out.

She blinked twice again.

_No._

“You don’t want the anaesthesia?” Catra finally asked.

She stared Catra down, holding the gaze before blinking once.

Catra’s eyes widened, before her jaw set in determination, nodding at Adora.

“Bow, Entrapta, wait,” she called to them, “Adora doesn’t want to be put to sleep.”

“What? Why not?” Entrapta asked, puzzled.

Bow turned back to Adora, squeezing her arm to sooth her.

“Adora, I know this is scary. If I woke up realising I couldn’t move, I would probably freak out too. That’s why we don’t want you to go through this. Give your body some time to heal. In the meantime, rest, sleep. You don’t have to experience this.”

Adora blinked twice again.

How else was she going to explain it? The thought of paralysis scared her shitless, but the thought of being unconscious was way worse. It would giving up way more control than Adora could ever allow.

Bow caught the _no_ from Adora this time, exchanging a troubled look with Entrapta and Catra.

“It’s analgesic too,” Entrapta tried to use logic, “you’re still on Prime’s antivirus transfusion. That would hurt.”

Adora could sense Catra stiffen beside her.

“She… she can’t feel that right now, can she?” Catra asked, voice trembling.

_Prime’s transfusion…? What?_ Adora scanned the room before her eyes landed on a bag of green liquid hung on one of her bed posts. The same shade of glowing green that she had seen on Prime’s ship. The same liquid that must have been used on Catra…

_What?_

Her pulse picked up again, this time with rage on top of panic at the idea that Catra had to be anywhere near that _vile_ liquid again.

“No, she said she isn’t in pain,” Bow replied, glancing at the quickening heart rate monitor, “Right, Adora? Are you in pain?”

They were asking her a question. She pulled out of her swirling confusion and blinked twice, before focusing on Catra, trying to ask Catra what the _hell_ was happening. Why was she having that transfusion?

Catra nodded at Adora, “A bit of Prime’s virus was released from the Failsafe,” Catra explained, reading Adora’s mind, “the team’s convinced this liquid is the only thing that would help.”

“It is helping,” Entrapta remarked bluntly, “Adora’s alive, isn’t she? So it works.”

“Right,” Catra nodded, turning back to address Adora, “Adora, take the anaesthesia. You don’t want to feel that transfusion. Trust me.”

_I can take the pain. Don’t let go of me. Please._

Adora blinked twice.

“No? Adora. Please.”

_Please._ Adora pleaded back in her thoughts.

Catra sighed, and Adora caught her expression softening in what appeared to be understanding.

“How about just enough to numb the pain? You’ll be awake, and I’ll be with you the whole time.”

_Finally_. Adora could feel her entire being relax. That she could handle. That felt like something in her _control_. She would be present, and Catra would be around to make sense of her thoughts even if she could not move.

She blinked once.

Catra smiled gently, stroking her arm.

“That’s my girl,” was all she said, before nodding to Bow and Entrapta.

Adora didn’t feel the medication going in, but in mere seconds she did feel sleep threaten to overwhelm her again. Her vision blurred and her eyelids drooped and she felt her throat seize in fear.

_It was too much!_

It felt like she was treading water against a swirling whirlpool threatening to suck her into darkness. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t scream, she couldn’t move and she felt like she was drowning.

The beeping of the heart monitor raced as Adora fought with the meds to stay awake.

“Adora!” Bow and Entrapta cried out, “Calm down and let it take effect!”

Their anxious orders only served to make it worse. Why couldn’t she just listen to them and do the right thing? Why was she even freaking out in the first place? She was safe, these people were helping her. She could let go.

But as the darkness got more oppressive, instead of succumbing Adora fought harder against it.

_No no no!_

“Pull back on the meds, dammit!” Catra cried out.

"My calculations were correct! We already reduced the dose,” Entrapta answered, baffled, “maybe she needs less in her weakened state.”

“The paralysis is obviously freaking her out!” Bow replied, jabbing at a screen by the bedside, on which some numbers were steadily increasing to three digits.

“No don’t you get it? She _doesn’t_ want to be knocked unconscious! Would you just listen to her?” Catra cried.

Something must have been dialed down because Adora felt the sleepiness ebb away. But the panic remained. Her heart continued to race, her chest tight as her entire body felt like it was buzzing with excess nervous energy she had no way to let out.

The machines around her detected her state and continued to beep chaotically.

“She’s still not better!” Entrapta called out.

“Adora,” Catra cupped Adora’s face in her hands, forcing Adora to look at her, “Adora, hey. It’s okay. No more meds. You’ll tell me when you’re in pain. It’s all good.”

Catra rubbed circles in Adora’s cheeks and the slippery feeling made Adora realised she had been continuously crying all this time.

“It’s all good. I’m here.”

Gingerly, Catra climbed back into bed with Adora, navigating around the multiple attachments to Adora before she curled around Adora in whatever way she could. She ended up with her legs by Adora’s side, her back on Adora’s pillow as she cradled Adora’s head to rest on her chest.

“Just focus on me, alright? You don’t have to fade away,” Catra’s voice was a whisper, and Adora was sure Catra didn’t want Bow and Entrapta hearing her words, “You don’t have to lose control.”

It was like Catra saw through her to her innermost fears, something that Adora had always fought hard to keep hidden, for self-protection, as any Horde soldier knew to do.

“Just stay with me,” Catra whispered, stroking Adora’s hair as she pressed her deeper into her chest, “stay.”

That, Adora could do. She found herself closing her eyes willingly, knowing this time she wouldn’t disappear into unconsciousness if she didn’t remain vigilant of her surroundings.

Catra was here, Catra would defend her autonomy. Catra would protect her. It felt strange, to need Catra this way, when so much of her worth was defined by how she could be needed instead by Catra and everyone else she loved.

A purr was brewing in Catra, before the chest below Adora erupted into a steady rhythm of hums and vibrations. Catra continued to stroke Adora’s hair and whisper to her, repeating the same affirmations over and over again.

Adora felt her world narrow onto the magicat embracing her, but this time, the lost of awareness to the rest of her surroundings was welcome, and she had never felt so safe. Distantly, vaguely, she registered that the sounds from the machines had calmed down, reflecting her inner state.

“So…” Bow uttered, almost a whisper, “that’s that, then?”

Adora could feel Bow and Entrapta exchanging an awkward glance and wondered how she and Catra must look to the both of them in that moment. But she couldn’t bring herself to care.

“I guess we’ll leave you to it, Catra? You’ll let us know if Adora needs anything?”

The purr against Adora’s ear turned into a protective growl. Adora could feel Catra grip her tighter.

“Yes, I will,” Catra replied, her voice more approachable than the growl had led Adora to expect, “thank you, you two.”

Eventually Adora heard Bow and Entrapta retreat, and she could return to focusing entirely on Catra. She opened her eyes again, imploring Catra to see her gratitude.

What she would give to be able to hug Catra back in that moment.

“Soon,” Catra said, trying and failing to smile, “You heard Bow. The paralysis is temporary.”

It was almost eerie how Catra could read her like that.

“And I’ll be here for you till then.”

The purring roared to life again, reflecting Catra’s determination to be whatever Adora needed. The rhythm in its sound and vibrations soothed Adora, grounded her. She found it easy to relax into it.

“Sleep if you want to,” Catra requested gently, “you’ll be safe. I won’t let them touch you with them weird meds or dodgy princess magic.”

Adora wanted to laugh, surprisingly, knowing Catra didn’t really believe that the meds and magic were untrustworthy. But it brought Adora back to their childhood, when things were simpler, when it was always only ever Catra and Adora, against the rest of the world.

“You look out for me and I look out for you, remember?”

With that comforting promise, and the thrum of Catra’s purring around her, Adora found herself falling, willingly, into a deep slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts:  
> 1) "studies have shown that cats purring actually helps humans heal faster" by DarkViral. I LOVE THIS PROMPT SO MUCH.  
> 2) Also modified from another comment by DarkViral, about "someone walking in the room and just slowly backing away." when seeing Catra curled up at the foot of Adora's bed: I couldn't work it into the end of the last chapter since I am starting when Adora wakes up, so I have somewhat modified it slightly here with Bow and Entrapta feeling awkward with how Catra is just purring all around Adora to calm her down ahaha  
> 3) Adora having a panic attack upon waking up, by TheNerdiestofAlys. I had plans for Adora having locked-in syndrome post surgery, and decided to include some elements of this into the chapter. Adora fears losing control a lot, so the idea of paralysis and unconsciousness was something I really wanted to explore. Not to mention being vulnerable enough to reveal her fears to others and letting others look out for her.
> 
> Thank you very much for the prompts and to everyone for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm accepting prompts for this fic! I've done this once before, and it was really collaborative and fun!
> 
> There will be two parts to this fic:  
> 1) Pre-surgery: In which Adora has to be convinced to go for the failsafe excision. I have a rather complete idea for this part, but you are always welcome to share your thoughts.  
> 2) Post-surgery: This part is hopefully going to be filled with lots and lots of hurt/comfort moments. There is potentially no end in sight. I need it like a drug. I have a list of scenarios in mind already, but I am open to prompts! I can't guarantee I will use every one but I will give them all serious thought! The gist that you need: Adora will spend a long time after surgery recovering and Catra looks after her every step of the way, with a great deal of care. 
> 
> No pressure to participate, you can just hop on for the ride, I have an overall plan for the story. But the last time I did this my original plan was completely derailed by creative readers and the final outcome was a blast of great fun. If any new readers are curious, here's a shameless plug to check out my Elsamaren fic, ['The Wedding Log'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23802331/chapters/57184552) to see what went down.
> 
> To submit a prompt:  
> \- Comment under any chapter  
> \- DM me on twitter [@BlackthornPyre](https://twitter.com/blackthornpyre) or on tumblr [blackthornpyre.tumblr.com](https://blackthornpyre.tumblr.com/)
> 
> You will be credited at the start or end of the relevant chapter's author's notes.
> 
> Cheers!  
> Blackthorn


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